Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Day 97: not quite yet. I haven't scaled up but I'm ready
I need another break to get back into form. I have a very big and stressful work day and need to take a break. I'm going to switch to a different yoga come Tuesday!
Day 96: down to one
I decided to scale it back and just so one. My back still hurts, but not quite as much! I have to get ready for summer, so I. Going to scale back up! Summer's almost here, so it's time to gear up! Maybe some running? Although, we all know how that went!
Day 95: the march continues
Ever since doing the two a days, my lower back has been really not happy. I feel like I can't keep up this pace, even as it is the slowest, saddest pace. I think pushing all the fat around was definitely hard on my back. My biggest worry is that I will be screwing up my back for life, which is not the smartest move! Regardless, I'm going to keep pushing through!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Day 94: A night of new
I have two new developments to share.
First, I'm trying 2 sessions of yoga a day. No solely to make up for days (I'm still only counting them as I session), but also to push myself. It's not like I'm going to do the longer/harder yoga, and that being the case, I might as well continue to work on the doing 2 of the easy sessions. The thing about yoga is that it seems strenuous when I'm doing it but you feel refreshed lat. so, why not take advantage of that.
Second, I was watching this Louis C.K. Bit where he talks about one of the downsides of aging. He says that the worst part of his day is when he has to put on his socks. He can't touch his toes normally and he has his beer gut surrounding him. He says it feels like when he tries to do that he is pushes his fat into his vital organs which start screaming out for release! I feel very similar when doing the kneeling and lying bow pose. I've talked about this before, but it is new that I think it's starting to "loosen up" the fat. It feels like the fat is more easily moved around and damn is it uncomfortable.
So, I get to the end of my routine and just lie on my back ready to do some meditation. But this time, it feels like I'm laying on one of those donuts they throw overboard of ships to help the drowning person. It's like my fat is literally balling up on the sides of my body pushing to give me a form of cushion. I'm thinking' "this can't be a good thing." Have I disrupted the fat.? You should never disrupt the fat!!
The one "nice" thing about being fat is that you don't really feel as fat as you are. For whatever reason, Thea body and mind simply can't accept that you're a giant lard ass, so when you look in the mirror you see a moderately overweight person, not the walking blimp that you actually ar. In fact, part of the way your body compensates is it doesn't really let you feel your own fat—except when you try to bend over and it all bunches together.
You don't feel that back flab making a verifiable spare tire. You don't feel those love handles and that's a problem! If you walked around all day feeling this fat hanging off of your body, you'd be more motivated to do something about it. But as it stands now, there is no incentive.
All of at is a long way of saying, maybe this movable fat bubble that I'm feeling is actually a wake up call. Maybe it's my body's way of saying, all right, it is time! Time to shed this bubble, those extra pounds and start living your life.
Because the way I'm living now is barely living at all. I'm not saying I want to be a super model, but I would like to have the confidence to go back outside and feel like I look good. I want to get a swagger back in my step. Most importantly, I want to feel like people are looking at me with approval. So as I go out these next few weeks, I'm going to try to remember my spare it and work towards having it popped!
First, I'm trying 2 sessions of yoga a day. No solely to make up for days (I'm still only counting them as I session), but also to push myself. It's not like I'm going to do the longer/harder yoga, and that being the case, I might as well continue to work on the doing 2 of the easy sessions. The thing about yoga is that it seems strenuous when I'm doing it but you feel refreshed lat. so, why not take advantage of that.
Second, I was watching this Louis C.K. Bit where he talks about one of the downsides of aging. He says that the worst part of his day is when he has to put on his socks. He can't touch his toes normally and he has his beer gut surrounding him. He says it feels like when he tries to do that he is pushes his fat into his vital organs which start screaming out for release! I feel very similar when doing the kneeling and lying bow pose. I've talked about this before, but it is new that I think it's starting to "loosen up" the fat. It feels like the fat is more easily moved around and damn is it uncomfortable.
So, I get to the end of my routine and just lie on my back ready to do some meditation. But this time, it feels like I'm laying on one of those donuts they throw overboard of ships to help the drowning person. It's like my fat is literally balling up on the sides of my body pushing to give me a form of cushion. I'm thinking' "this can't be a good thing." Have I disrupted the fat.? You should never disrupt the fat!!
The one "nice" thing about being fat is that you don't really feel as fat as you are. For whatever reason, Thea body and mind simply can't accept that you're a giant lard ass, so when you look in the mirror you see a moderately overweight person, not the walking blimp that you actually ar. In fact, part of the way your body compensates is it doesn't really let you feel your own fat—except when you try to bend over and it all bunches together.
You don't feel that back flab making a verifiable spare tire. You don't feel those love handles and that's a problem! If you walked around all day feeling this fat hanging off of your body, you'd be more motivated to do something about it. But as it stands now, there is no incentive.
All of at is a long way of saying, maybe this movable fat bubble that I'm feeling is actually a wake up call. Maybe it's my body's way of saying, all right, it is time! Time to shed this bubble, those extra pounds and start living your life.
Because the way I'm living now is barely living at all. I'm not saying I want to be a super model, but I would like to have the confidence to go back outside and feel like I look good. I want to get a swagger back in my step. Most importantly, I want to feel like people are looking at me with approval. So as I go out these next few weeks, I'm going to try to remember my spare it and work towards having it popped!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Day 93:
I was at work until 2:30 am on Monday so I did not do it, but I did it twice today, so,hopefully that helps to make up for it!
Day 91: playing catchup
On Friday, I did not do yoga. I just got caught up in my day, I was tired and just didn't do it. But I got right back on the horse on Saturday for day 91.
Day 90: less pizza, still fat
Believe it or not, I'm still fat. I've been eating less pizza, but am nowhere near where I need or want to be. I continued with my yoga efforts today. I got out of the hous and even went out for a change. It was nice but my whole identity is completely wrapped up in my body image. It's not healthy.
On another note, I can't believe I've done 90 days of yoga it's crazy!
On another note, I can't believe I've done 90 days of yoga it's crazy!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Day 89: Revelations
I fully attribute my mood shift to weight gain and poor eating habits.
As I mentioned, I've been eating a ton of pizza—usually about one full pizza during lunch. I can definitely say that after just three days of this procedure, I feel like shit!
They say you are what you eat, and I feel like a big, bread-y, dough-y cheese-covered fatman.
Damn. That was probably not the best decision.
And I've been chugging 4-6 diet cokes in a 3 hour period. I'm wired but my chest hurts, I go through serious lulls in energy, and I'm pessimistic.
I've always heard that eating a mass of processed food can negatively affect one's attitude, but I've never taken the time to really think it through. I think, for the first time, I’m seeing the effects and seeing them quickly.
I'm more sluggish, fatter, and suffering from sever ennui.
All right, I'm going to go do my yoga for the day and then get back to work!
Maybe I can turn it around again. Drop the poundage I've put on in the last week and get back into fighting form.
As I mentioned, I've been eating a ton of pizza—usually about one full pizza during lunch. I can definitely say that after just three days of this procedure, I feel like shit!
They say you are what you eat, and I feel like a big, bread-y, dough-y cheese-covered fatman.
Damn. That was probably not the best decision.
And I've been chugging 4-6 diet cokes in a 3 hour period. I'm wired but my chest hurts, I go through serious lulls in energy, and I'm pessimistic.
I've always heard that eating a mass of processed food can negatively affect one's attitude, but I've never taken the time to really think it through. I think, for the first time, I’m seeing the effects and seeing them quickly.
I'm more sluggish, fatter, and suffering from sever ennui.
All right, I'm going to go do my yoga for the day and then get back to work!
Maybe I can turn it around again. Drop the poundage I've put on in the last week and get back into fighting form.
Feel free to share your stories of failure and your frustrations as well.
Day 88: Chugging Caffein
So, I've been making some poor decisions all week. While I have still been doing my yoga daily (right before bed), I have not done any other form of activity and I have been eating terribly.
I've been getting a ton of free food from work—mostly pizza—and I've been absolutely stuffing my face. At first it was great to get some food. And now, it's just like, ugh, enough is enough fatty. Stop eating 7-8 slices at lunch.
No wonder you feel like a brick house (and not in a good way).
ugh!
I've been getting a ton of free food from work—mostly pizza—and I've been absolutely stuffing my face. At first it was great to get some food. And now, it's just like, ugh, enough is enough fatty. Stop eating 7-8 slices at lunch.
No wonder you feel like a brick house (and not in a good way).
ugh!
Day 87: Week Strong - Will Weak
So, I started the week. I've been putting off my yoga until right before bed. So far that has been a fairly good strategy as I have been able to get it done. And yet, I don't get the rich benefits of being stretched out for the day. I'd say it is a direct contributor of my making bad decisions during the week and my generally poor mood.
I apologize to myself mostly. This is a whiny and terrible place to put my thoughts.
If you have expected anything from this blog, it was some kind of motivation and what you've received is a whining fat man. I'll try to make it up to you!
I apologize to myself mostly. This is a whiny and terrible place to put my thoughts.
If you have expected anything from this blog, it was some kind of motivation and what you've received is a whining fat man. I'll try to make it up to you!
Day 86: Still Going Weak
Well, I’m certainly on a roll, but I don't feel any stronger, in fact, if possible, I feel more inadequate and weaker.
It's true what they say, you are what you eat.
It's true what they say, you are what you eat.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Day 85: Getting in Touch
I really feel like I need to get in touch with my inner warrior. The problem is that I just don't feel like I have that in me. I just don't have an inner warrior. But in order to make the most of each day and ensure that I get everything I need to get done, I need to find my inner fight. My inner resilliance. Otherwise, I will just be surviving. And we can't do that. We need to thrive!
Thriving for life!
Thriving for life!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Day 84: Streak noting
I'm just noting that it's been 3 days. But frankly that's just embarrassing. It should already be a month non-stop yoga. And even so, I keep pushing it back.
No one to blame but blame itself.
No one to blame but blame itself.
Day 83: Yoga Again
I don't want to start getting all up in myself. I mean, if I started getting all excited every time I did one measly day of yoga, I would be myself earlier in this blog. But I am playing this one pessimistically. I completed the yoga two days in a row and that's good, but there is no pressure. I'd like to continue this trend and work towards being better, but that is not required.
I hate the fact that I've been gaining weight, but I have no one to blame but myself.
Until tomorrow
I hate the fact that I've been gaining weight, but I have no one to blame but myself.
Until tomorrow
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Day 81: half is better than nothing
Don't eat a giant dinner and then try yoga. Fully belly equals lame attempt. MA's tomorrow!
Day 81: karma
She's a bitch.
It seems like whenever I have a post that says I'm refocused I go and fail miserably. I have a weekend of misses. I miss three days in a row and get back into swing of it on Monday!
Like all fat people's ever, I'm sorry I suck. I will try to get better. Just let me finish this donut!
It seems like whenever I have a post that says I'm refocused I go and fail miserably. I have a weekend of misses. I miss three days in a row and get back into swing of it on Monday!
Like all fat people's ever, I'm sorry I suck. I will try to get better. Just let me finish this donut!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Day 80: refocused
Right before bed seems to be the best time because I'm ready, wiling, and able. Two subway sandwiches sure didn't hurt either! To a better week!! Day 80 is a big deal.
80/93 is not too shabby! Lets keep not missing days!
80/93 is not too shabby! Lets keep not missing days!
Day 79: Über lame
When you do it and get tired at the laying down part, you know you're screwed for the day! I was ravenous today and so yoga was done on a belly of Chinese foods and angst!
Day 78: yoga is not video games
Yoga is not the games that we play. It is not a stimulating mix of games that I play. It does not keep my attention and it most definitely takes a back seat to I Love You, Man. And yet, I still did it but it was sloppy and fat. Just like me.
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