Wow . . a reintrouction

So . . .

I haven't posted anything in years. YEARS.

My last post before the two I had in draft form and just released were from April of 2015. It is now October of 2016. That's crazy.

It's so cliched to be worked up over something so small.  But let me give you a giant update. I say giant because I'm not longer a Fat Man.

I'm a morbidly obese man trapped inside an elephant-sized man.

I'm the largest I've ever been and couldn't be more upset about it. I just weighed myself and the scale said, "Please wait while we scroll through the entirety of your weight." 

Over the last year I've let myself go. My exercise routine is abysmal, my confidence is shot, and, to make matters worse,  I was just getting a haircut, looked in the mirror and saw a hugely obese man staring back at me. Wow, how fat you can get when you eat anything you want at any time for any reason.

I realize with great shame that I'm not even trying. And it shows. So where do we go from here? 

In the past, I've committed myself to lofty goals of exercise routines, I've gotten ready for big events, and I've motivated myself through regular postings and letting you know how focused I've become. 

But it's become clear that I'm never going to be a normal-sized person. I will now need the belt extender on the airplane. When I'm not breaking chairs, I will find them too narrow for my overly humongous ass. 

That's all to say that I'm giving up, packing it in, and thanking you for reading. 

My apologies that this turned into a workout update blog, and a very bad one at that. The first couple of posts had hope, humor, and, most importantly,  fat a message worth spreading. 

Now, I have to decide how to move forward. How to continue in life until the inevitable happens. Until I have the innevitable heart attack or belly explosion that is sure to befall an obese man. 

Thank you for taking the ride, I hope you have better luck with your fitness and size-related goals.

- The Fat Obese Man 

Day __ (of 110): It's raining fat . . .

And when it rains it pours.

That one small bit of cake thrust me into a fat spiral that rivals even the most embarrassing overeating I've ever done. 

Reintroducing sugar took everything I was already eating and made it taste like shit.

In just the one week that I ate that cake I've made the following colossal mistakes:

1. Ate 3 whole cartons of macaroons until I felt  sick to my stomach and then did it again the next day.

2. Started drinking soda on the regular 

3. Ate McDonald's and KFC chicken

4. Ate so many meaty subway sandwiches!

Diet on the destroy! All because of some sugar cake?!? I'm desperate to get back on track. I have a fitting for a suit this Saturday and I'm going to be drastically differently sized come later in the summer when I'll need it. I can't believe that I'm failing so epicly when I'm just so close. 

It's time to refocus.

I tried seeing how many push-ups I could do and discovered that I can barely get through 10 in a row. 

I somehow need to firmly invest in all aspects of my plan to ensure that I'm back in it to win it come the end of June.

The sad thing is that I've made progress but I'm afraid to even weigh myself for fear that I've competed wiped out any limited success that I've had over the last 3 months! 

Time to reinvest fat man. 

No distractions, excuses, or failures. Starting tomorrow at 6am it's time to be in it again. Hard.

It's time to re detox. 

Day 59 (of 110): No Excuses

I've entered the mourning period of my weight gain.

This is where I mourn what I've lost (in this case a smaller, lighter, and more energetic body) and resign to my fate as a continued Fatman.

I was just watching a Casey Neistst [casey.nyc]YouTube video where he said that free time is the enemy of progress. If that is the case, I'm screwed.

As you might have inferred from my incredibly predictable lack of posting, I've essentially failed my 110 day goal of getting into crazy good shape.

For starters, I've made some terrible decisions. I went with a friend to taste cakes a couple of weeks ago. Yes, you read that right. I went to go taste cake. As in to willfully eat sugar, a substance I've struggled against my whole life. A substance that has a controlling effect over all of my actions. Like a heroin addict reintroduced to some dope, I am now woefully and inexplicably hooked again. 

Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm so dialed into bad decision making that I've all but given up on getting into shape.

It's funny: my thought process seems to be as addicted as I am. 

It's like this little voice in my head justified all the terrible decisions and plays with my logical choices by saying:  You're screwed.