Day 19 (of 110): Reboot

Day 19

Okay, it's the weekend and it's time for renewal. Failures over the last week: eating eat too many smoothies. Instead of making them and only drinking one cup worth, I end up drinking a whole pitcher and consuming enough calories to last the whole day. Another failure: letting my injury and work stand in the way of my exercise routine.

I'm lucky enough to own an elliptical. But I live in an apartment so every time I use it, I run the risk of pudding off my downstairs neighbor. To strike a truce, I agreed only to use it between 7:30am and 9pm. Which is fine but I'm often out of the house at work at those times. Doin push-ups and yoga has been slow because I didn't want to let my injury get in the way.

So here with only 91 days to go, I need to recommit. I want to drop another 3-5 pounds this week, so I'm going reinvest in the program even more heavily-nothing insppropriate. And heavy exercise base. 

Now that I know I have this binge-eating thing (or at least think I do), I'm going to do everything in my power to slow down when I eat. I'll also try to only eat with others. No eating in secret by myself. 

As of now, I continue to fail with this reconnecting/disconnecting thing. I want to disconnect from my devices and reconnect to the world, but TV.

So I have my work cut out for me this week. Let's see what kind of damage I can do! My goal: eat myself - fat removal at the highest level. 

- The Fat Man

Day 18 (of 110): Explanation Station

I know I dropped a potential bomb yesterday evening and then just left to go to bed. As is typical with my cycles of dieting, I start out very exciting and make some limited progress and then my body kicks back in and I end up giving up. This usually happen when "life gets in the way," in effect, when I have other things to do and cannot devote 110% of my attention to blogging and dieting. 

And yet, I am not less motivated. In fact, I have such a strong motivation that I'm getting ready to jump back into it! 

But let me explain. Last night I said I of it have binge eating disorder. I also admitted I have no idea what that is. But if the name is any indication, I have it.

I know that the way i best like to ingest bad food is to binge it. Now I'm not taking about bulimia where I binge and then immediately purge. No, I have the much worse disorder: I just eat quickly and shamefully (often in secret) and live with the consequences. 

When I was little, my parents used to hide candy around the house because I would eat it all so quickly. But I would find it and secrete let binge it all! 

So today I set about figuring out what binge-eating disorder is all about. I Googled it and found bingeeatingdisorder.com. 

According to the website one of the symptoms of the disorder is eating beyond when you are full. I can't stress enough how often I've done this. And that is incredibly disconcerting.

But I feel like admitting I have binge-eating disorder, is giving up. It's not a disorder, I'm okay to give it a go and try to beat it. Maybe just knowing that I tend towards binge-eating will help me overcome it. Or maybe I need therapy. Either way, let's beat this thing. 

92 days to go. And today is the day I put myself back into public. It's been the better part of three weeks and I'm only 9 pounds down. I've got quite a way to go and I'll do that trough recommitment to my goals. 

- The Fat Man 

Day 17 (of 110): BED

Day 17

So there are only two days until y public showing of my fantasy body and I'm still fat as hell. C'mon weight, get off me without me having to do anything or try very hard. 

I think I have BED : Binge Eating Disorder

I'm not quite sure what it is but I saw an advertisement for the condition that featured a heavy set woman and the acronym BED.

Is there really a disorder to explain why I always feel the need to get so full I feel it?

I hope so and I hope I can learn to turn it off. Stop from guzzling everything in sight.

I need a way outl

Only 93 more days. 

– The Fat Man

Day 16 (of 110): slump

As the novelty of this new plan wears off, I find myself backsliding into poor habits. 

I did check y weight: 244.9, not ugh of an achievement but definitely something. 

But with my hand injury I haven't done the hundred push-up challenge or yoga and my appetite is advancing at a rapid rate.

Uh oh

- the Fat Man

Day 15 (of 110): Recovery

As crazy as the last few days have been, I have maintained my journey. 

I have continued to eat properly. Even on Sunday morning, hungover and with a broken finger—I continued to eat properly. I attended a friend's birthday brunch at a bougie east-side brunch place. Everything on the menu was weird meats or butter-infused breakfast items. But I was good, I had a salad and continued on with proper eating.

And yet, with the busted finger I was reluctant to do any exercise lest I injure it. Instead, I went and got an x-Ray and was placed into a giant cast that completely immobilized my entire hand.

Finally, today, I was able to see a specialist and get the giant cast removed. Now my exercise prospects are looking up but maybe not for another week or so. 

And I was unable to weight myself this morning, but I did weigh myself yesterday. I weighed 244 when I next checked, but I'm unsure if that really reflects what had happened over the week. So I will check again tomorrow

morning. 

As I start to recover, I will continue to push forward and carry on with the plan. We'll see what happens during the next 95 days.

– The Fat Man

Day 13 and 14 (of 110): Sloppy Mistakes

So you may have said, where's my day 13 and 14? What's taking the Fat Man so long to write? Did he give up already?

Good and bad news. I did not give up but I did become a sloppy mess and make some incredibly bone-headed mistakes.

On Saturday night, I weighed myself to see what I was up against. 147.3 pounds. Almost a full week later and almost no weight loss. .7 lbs? Ugh. 

But it was good motivation. I hunkered down, ate a salad, and headed out to an event I was attending. I brought some gin with me so I could stay colorically light despite drinking. 

That was mistake number 1.

 I should not be drinking during this cleanse of mine. I only have 96 days to get everything together. Moreover, eating only light fair my stomach was not equipped to handle the influx of alcohol. Add to that the issues with the food at the event. 

I was not going to eat crap, so I ended up eating only the veggies I could and drinking at the open bar. Whoops.

Enter mistake number 2.

After getting sufficiently intoxicated that I was no longer making rational choices, I started handfisting cheese. Let me explain a little better. By this I mean taking handfuls of Swiss, Cheddar, and other cheeses (something that I would not be interested in normally as I don't even eat dairy), and stuffing them into my mouth. I'm not even sure I tasted the cheese. 

Finally, I made the move towards home and my body rejected the cheese and the alcohol. I'm not even sure how much cheese my body managed to digest.

And that leads to mistake number 3.

This was perhaps the biggest mistake of the night. I, unsurprisingly, fell on my way home and broke my finger in 2 different places.

Now while this is an inconvenience it would not normally be a big deal. However now I am on a position where I can't do the hundred push-up challenge or yoga, two huge mainstays in my 110-day plan. 

The worst part was with the break, getting X-rays and the cast, going to follow-up doctors, I have not exercised since Saturday's yoga.

We'll see what happens in the next 96 days.

– The Fat Man

Day 12 (of 110): LIke the Wind

Day 12

 Like the wind through the trees flowing freely, quickly, and without regard for boundaries, I set forth on this day free without boundaries, ready to explore the day.

The best part of the change in my eating pattern is that I don't need to think about eating. By this I mean, I'm not so focused on food the same way that I was before.

And now back to reality. My hope is that I won't be so focused on food in the future. Last night I had a crazy dream. I dreamed that I was out and about town and that I had almost no willpower. I got involved in a car accident in the parking lot of my favorite pizza place. Of course, to recover from the emotional pain of being in that accident, I went into the pizza place. I was all set to order my favorite Rigatoni alla Vodka Pizza when I realized that I was about to do. And in my dream—IN MY DREAM—I took out my phone, went back to my car, and read the affirmation against cravings.

Don’t Be Fat:

RESIST the temptation. The food will NEVER taste as good as you think it will. Instead, it will leave you feeling bloated, fat, and shameful. Resist, resist, resist. Your mind has tricked you into thinking you will feel good, nay great, upon eating this Penna alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate Milk [or any other food] but you know better!



REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.



And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.

AND IT WORKED. In my dream, I resisted eating pizza, despite walking into two other pizza places. This was more of an emotional victory than anything else!

I just hope my self IRL can be that strong.

Here to hoping and 98 more days.

- The Fat Man

Day 11 (of 110): Weakened Cravings

Day 11

I have been having cravings. It was to be expected. I have not eaten anything (other than diet soda) that I have committed not to eat. And yet I still crave pizza and all manner of delicious food.

And yet, these cravings are not as intense as they once were. I do not feel compelled to go there. They are merely thoughts, "hmm, it would be nice to have that" as opposed to "I NEED IT I CAN'T CONTROL IT. I NEED IT!"


I think that is progress. I think it is good that I am not having such intense cravings and yet I know I need to start making more progress. I need to get off the couch. I need to continue to exercise with a  passion for it, instead of just going through the motions.

I'm hoping that the weight just continues to come off and I get re-energized.

We'll see what happens on Day 14!

Here's till then!

- The Fat Man

Day 10 (of 110): 100 Days to Go

Day 10

10 days down, 100 to go.

As the days pass, I find myself falling into a rhythm. I get up, try to eat correctly, and then do it again.

And yet, at the end of the day, I feel that I have not made any progress. I am worried that my resolve is slipping. I've been drinking my guilty pleasure: diet soda. Even though I know that diet soda has been studied and found to make the drinker gain weight, I cannot stop. And yet, I know that my appetite is greater because of it.

I need to keep reminding myself what is at stake. I must remind myself that I only have 100 days to get ready, 100 days to get my body and mind in shape. I cannot fall back and become lazy.

The other trial that I have barely mentioned is reconnecting with the world. Thus far, I made it 1-2 days without connecting. So, I declare publicly, that I have not been successful.

The worst part is that I know that the more I watch, the lazier I am, and the more likely I am to overeat. But I love television. I love playing games. I need to refocus and truly connect with the world in a positive way.

I need time to think about this. Is anyone else experiencing these issues?

- The Fat Man

Day 9 (of 110): Still Fat

Day 9

I feel like the tone of my recent posts may send the wrong message, but: I'm still fat.

Yep, I'm still a chunky, lardass, fatty, big-bootied lardo. I'm still popping and locking with rolls of fat. I'm still walking waddling around, carrying a heavy load on two lard legs.

I know I'm fat. I've been fat for as long as I remember. And now, in less than a week I feel like this:

So, let me just set the record straight. The amount of progress I've made is tantamount to a small drop in the bucket. Now that the novelty of my renewed trials has worn off let me take a look back at the many times that I have gained and lost weight.

First when I was just in high school, I managed to lose 50 pounds and stayed that way throughout high school.

After college, I managed to lose 50 pounds.

Last year I lost 50 pounds.

What's the common feature? I always gained it back.

It makes me feel like this:

So, as I begin again and arrive at day 9, I know that I have so long to go. I know that continuing with the program is the most important thing. I know that no matter what, I must maintain my diet and work in the exercise. If I want a transformative experience, I must work for it and not be afraid to fail.

I know it's hard. It may even be one of the hardest things I ever have to do. But I am going to do it.

So today when the pushup challenge—9, 10, 10, 10, 11—was difficult. I did not quit. I spent slightly more time resting and then I jumped back in.

Until then, only 101 more days!

- The Fat Man

Day 8 (of 110): The Week in Review

Day 8

248.0 lbs!

That's a full 5.3lbs. Over the past week I've not only lost 5.3 pounds, but I've gained the ability to lift myself off the ground, gained some small semblance of stamina allowing me to do the elliptical for 20 to 30 minutes. I've changed the way I've been eating. I haven't had anything sweet, any dairy, or any meat.

It's been a wild ride so far. I've fully detoxed—complete with a fevered, headache, achy, filled two days. I've come out the other side committed to this 110-day program.

But don't get me wrong. I'm still Fat!! I still sweat unnecessarily when I move, I still am out of breath at inappropriate times, and I still plagued by unsightly rolls off out surrounding my whole body. One week of eating right and exercising is not going to change that. The decisions and choices I've made that made me fat and have kept me that way are not going to change over night. 

I know that five pounds isn't that much, but to me it represents one week of hopefully many of hard work and it shows the beginnings of improvement. 

Now I begin the real push. It feels as if the urgency is off. It is possible to make a few bad choices: when presented with a new food I may say, "why can't I try it?", even though that food has something in it that will just restart the whole detox cycle causing me to have cravings and starting a whole backslide into a fatter me. 

This change is real, it is hard, and requires perseverance and dedication of the like that I have rarely been able to muster. Until I can change my body chemistry (in about 5 more weeks), I will still crave bad foods. Once my taste buds change, I will be better off and may find myself on a path I have never quite accomplished before. I look forward to that. 

Until then, here's to week 2 and 102 more days to go!

- The Fat Man

Day 7 (of 110): Push up to the limit

Day 6

I know I predicted that my strength increase would feel incredible, but let me walk you through the transition. When I started the one hundred pushup challenge a mere six days ago, I was a fat lard-infested whale barely managing to get my torso off the ground by the strength in my arms. Today however, despite still looking like a hump-back whale, my arms managed to hold me up and sustain me for an extended period of time. I cannot begin to describe how wonderful this feels. Like two strong redwood trees, my arms braced the ground and were able to fully support my body weight. That first set of eight was like the easiest pushups I had ever done. I couldn't believe it. It was like I was doing pushups my whole life. And they were good-form pushups too! I mean my back was straight, I was able to raise and lower my body properly and I felt like I was actually doing what I was supposed to. It was an incredible feeling. The next four sets of nine were challenging until I finally could not complete the last set (I only made it to eight).




The rest of the program, the rest of my trials, are going well. I was not feverish. I did not have cravings. and I was not light-headed today. Instead, I was  I thought little about my digestion. And at the end of the day, that's exactly the way it should be. My digestion, my new lifestyle should get out of the way. I shouldn't be craving pizza, need a pick-me-up, or have any other interaction with food other than eat my lunch, enjoy it, and move on. And that is how the Fat Man sees it.

And with that, I'll say, today is one week and I am excited to see, to map, my progress. Only 103 more days until the big event, and twelve more days until I join society again and see how I feel. It is all very exciting.

- The Fat Man

As always feel free to share your thoughts/opinions in the comments.

Day 6 (of 110): Perseverance

Day 6

Today is the day I push through. Yesterday while my feverishness did not return, I still did not feel 100% normal.

Today, however, I felt much better. Back to business as usual. I started out the day with a nice veggie and fruit smoothie and followed it up with a delicious dinner of kale, onions, cuban-style black beans, with steamed vegetables. It was delicious.

I did my C25K but am waiting on the pushup challenge until tomorrow.

Tomorrow is back to the workweek and the time when we are quickly approaching the end of week 1. I am excited to weigh myself and see how it is going. My hope is that I will begin to feel more energetic and lose some substantial weight, but I guess we shall see tomorrow.

Until then, only 104 days to go!

- The Fat Man

P.S. If you're feeling similarly or have just started your own trials, let me know!

Day 5 (of 110): Strength

Day 5

Last night was even worse than yesterday. I left work early, right at lunch, to return home and sleep. I figured it was sleep that I needed to kick the detox feelings. Oh how I was wrong.

I slept that afternoon from 3:30 until 6:00 and then got up to make dinner, clean up, and then go back to sleep. That sleep was fitful at best. I was incredibly cold—the fever setting in—and then I made dinner. Luckily over dinner I had tea, hot food, and I was wrapped in two sweaters, to the point where I was too hot. For the first time yesterday, I was finally warm.

Then I eventually went back to bed only to wake up a few hours later, still cold, with a massive headache and full on fever symptoms. Finally I caved, I took some Tylenol to help break my fever. It worked, but I still couldn't go back to sleep. I was too hot at that point.

I got up from 1:15am until about 4:30am. Then I went back to sleep until about 9:00am.

But this time, when I woke up, I was feeling somewhat better. No fever, somewhat rested, and time to start my day. I immediately got started on the one hundred pushup challenge. Today's goal was 7, 9, 8, 8, 9+, I did it all. What's really surprising is how much stronger I can feel myself getting, I was able to sustain my body weight on the pushup and control the up/down motion of the pushup. I may be able to start doing my yoga shortly.

I also did the Couch-to-5k program.

So all in all, I feel much stronger today. I feel that I can finally begin making progress towards these trials. I'm still not a full week into this and I feel like I may be over the worst of it. But we'll see what the rest of the day brings.

Until later,  (only 105 more days!)

- The Fat Man

Day 4 (of 110): Weary

Day 4

Today I woke up weary. Just bone tired. I know part of the reason for being so tired is that I went to sleep about an hour later than I normally do. Part of it is thst the temperature dropped about 20 degrees overnight, but most of it is that I'm detoxing. That brings with it an apathetic resolve. More than an apathetic resolve, a low-grade fever, chills, and pain. If you read yesterday's post and thought, "Well that doesn't sound like withdrawal from a drug," maybe now you'll believe me. I am striving to be 100% honest and forthright in these posts. 

I sit at work without any motivation to do anything, other than go home and sleep. And the cravings are setting in. I've been pretty good without craving much, but today is different. I have a general craving. A craving for some comforting food! 

Now I know that there is a direct correlation between sleep (or the lack tbereof) and overeating. I'm not feeling cravings so intense that I'm driving out to get me some Penne alla Vodka pizza (even if that would be nice). Instead, I'm going to continue to stay focused on the task at hand: the quest towards better health.

All I'm saying is that it sucks. Maybe my pain will serve as motivation for you that you too can make it through the day without grabbing that food you crave. 

Now I know I have a sickness in overeating because whenever I begin to crave food my mind flashes to images of hot steamy food that I know is delicious. Like a perverse real of food porn coursing through my head; pizza, toquitos, lasagna,  etc.  In fact, I was listening to Pandora and saw an ad for a new Taco Bell quesorito and I wanted to get in my car and go get one! How sick is that?

But, instead I will read through my mantra and push through the cravings:

Don’t Be Fat:

RESIST the temptation. The food will NEVER taste as good as you think it will. Instead, it will leave you feeling bloated, fat, and shameful. Resist, resist, resist. Your mind has tricked you into thinking you will feel good, nay great, upon eating this Penna alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate Milk [or any other food] but you know better!

REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your  esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.

And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.

 Ain't that the truth! 

And yet, the weariness, the low-grade fever got worse so I ended up going home and trying to sleep it off. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be good again, I will be back in perfect form ready to hit each trial with a integrity of spirit that these trials deserve.

Until then, the Fat Man --> only 106 days to go. 

- The Fatman 

Feel free to comment if you, too, are experiencing similar problems in your attempts to detox. Or, if you have in the past undergone similar changes. I'd love to hear about it. 

Day 3 (of 110): Withdrawal

Day 3

I am going through withdrawal.

It's amazing to me that a person can feel withdrawal symptoms from overeating. Withdrawal symptoms. As in the same symptoms that someone feels when they stop doing drugs. Withdrawal symptoms like headaches, nassau, body aches, and general fuzziness. But that's what I'm feeling. I woke up this morning with a massive headache and body aches all over. It's easy to say that I just slept wrong, but I know better.


My body is detoxing. When you overeat, your cells never enter the repair stage of digestion. According to Dr. Fuhrlman's book, the process of digestion is hunger, food, digestion proper, and then if we wait long enough repairing of the cells. When we are addicted to food, we eat and we eat before our body is truly ready to eat again. If we don't allow our bodies to enter the repair stage, the body cannot repair all of the damage we do by eating different toxins—caffein, sugar, and other toxins from chemicals in our foods. And yet, when we allow our body to finally enter the repair stage, after chronically overeating, all of the toxins that have stored up but have not been released are finally released and it causes some havoc in the body. For me, it is the withdrawal symptoms.

So, today sucks. I knew this would happy and I'm happy to report that I've learned that this stage does not last that long. It should be over within the week.

At this point, I'm actually more nervous for the hundred pushup challenge. I'm worried that the lactic acid buildup is too much and will stop me from doing my pushups today.

Now, when I just did the pushups I can say that I was able to fight through the lactic acid buildup. I did the pushups, even if they did hurt like hell. Surprisingly, it was the lactic acid in my abdominal muscles that was the hardest to fight through. It almost felt like there was a pain going straight down to my pelvis. Even with that I did pushups in a set of 5, 7, 7, 7,  and 6 for 32 total pushups!

Onto day 4, only 107 days left.

- The Fat Man 

Day 2 (of 110): Lactic Acid Drip

 Day 2

What would it be like to sit with an IV of lactic acid? 

I have a confession, you know that feeling when lactic acid builds up in your muscles and makes you feel strong? When the feelings of tired muscles makes your muscles ripple and you feel amazing? 

I love that feeling? I almost want to be a lazy sloth more often for the few times that I get to feel like I actually have muscles.

Unsurprisingly, then, day 2 brings with it the lactic acid build up in my arms and chest. What did I expect?

The amount of work my poor arm muscles have to do to lift my flabby, overweight frame from the floor is astounding. Of course I'm going to "feel it" the next day, even if I did "go easy."

So as I said yesterday, day 1 is always, always going to be the easiest—it's the day when you're the most motivated to stick with it.

As I've learned, however, once you get over the first week, your body begins that process of readjusting so that it does become easier to stick with the plan. Right now, however, it is difficult. All day I've had a low grade headache and feel somewhat shaky. I know its just my body getting rid of the toxic chemicals in my system, but it's not comfortable.

Right now I'm tired, hungry, and frankly unenthusiastic about the whole endeavor. And it's only been one day. 

I know that my fatigue has more to do with daylight savings time than with anything my change of diet has done to me. So for now, I'll keep sucking it up and hope I feel great soon!

Dr. Fuhrlman talks about your body going through the process of detoxing—in between meals when you give your body enough time, your cells begin the restorative process of healing broken cells. This detoxing is so important to getting over food cravings for fatty foods, caffein, and sugars.

Despite the disinterest in the whole endeavor, I'm still motivated to see this to the end. Today I made sure to keep eating properly and exercising. I followed up my C25K from yesterday with another set. This time with slightly less "walking." I tried to do some knee pushups—but the lactic acid buildup was far too great. I'm excited to keep going and get over the hump of the first day.

Here's to 108 more!

- The Fat Man 

Day 1 (of 110): Three Trials

Day 1

Two Hundred Fifty Three Point Eight Pounds.  253.8 lbs.

I definitely have my work cut out for me. I start out day one weighing 258.3 pounds. That’s still twenty pounds less than my maximum weight but significantly heavier than my ideal weight. According to BMI tables I should weigh in at 175 lbs. I have not been that weight for at least ten years.

I think my ideal weight would be around two hundred pounds! For the purposes of this 110 day journey, I would like to lost 25 pounds to start coming in at 228.8 by June 27.

Now before launching into a recitation of how Day 1 went, I feel it is important to know that talk is cheap. Day 1 is always going to be the easiest. It is the time that we are most motivated to keep going. And yet, I hope by keeping myself accountable here—by forcing myself to put out my failings here—that I will stay on track towards my goal. 

Trial 1: Dr. Furhlman highlights for the day

• Dr. Furhlman advocates a six-week plan. He says, "Get ready for the most exciting six weeks of your adult life. If you follow my program precisely for the next six weeks, your body will undergo a remarkable transformation and you will be witness to its miraculous self-healing ability."

The six-week plan calls for strict adherence that will bring about a "biochemical and phsyiological makeover" that also promises to get rid of headaches and food cravings: two of a dieter's worst enemies.

But: probiotics. Getting my digestive tract back in order. Come on bacteria - swim damn you, swim!

 For now it's a fruit smoothie for breakfast—they really are delicious! I followed this up with a salad for lunch. Now I did have some mild cravings today. Nothing as bad as Penne alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate milk, but I craved some diet coke. Still reeling from the daylight savings switch, I needed a pick me up. Now I know that even diet sodas are terrible for you. They actually promote weight gain by tricking your taste buds into thinking you're drinking something sugary and your body reacts in much the same way it would to sugar. Additionally, diet sodas increase appetite leading to more foods. So I read over my mantra from yesterday about cravings and still went ahead a got a giant diet coke. For the purposes of day 1, however, I felt that it was okay. I am easing in after all.

 Trial 2: Ow

I can still firmly remember the joy and power I felt after completing week four of the 100 pushup challenge. The basic goal of the challenge is to set out incremental workouts to push your body into being able to complete 100 pushups in one go. Day 1 sucked. I hate pushups. I am fat, it is difficult to get my body to move off the floor in a rhytmic motion. The companion app has a button that reminds you of good form pushups. My pushups look like jello in an eathquake, my whole body shakes, and I'm pretty sure my neighbors think an earthquake is happening.

But, in the an attempt to be completely transparent Day 1 consisted of me doing four sets of 5 pushups followed by a max-out set where I had to do at least 4 (I did four). So I did 24 pushups. Well see what Wednesday holds.

I'm still surprised that at one point I was able to do over thirty pushups in a row and now I can barely squeak out five without feeling like I'm going to collapse, it's just sad.

I also decided to track my elliptical progress with a Couch 2 5k app - you know one that promises to get you off the couch and able to run sustained for a five k. Either way, it pushes me to complete my "run." It helps by telling me when to run—i.e. speed up in true girl-on-a-mission-at-the-gym fashion; you know the ones who have a high ponytail and are running like their very life depends on it. I like that the C25K app  gives me reminders to push my pace or slow down until I get to 30 minutes.

Trial 3: 

Thus far today I have yet to dial in to some television program or a video game. We shall see how I keep that up! 

Here's to hoping that today continues to be a success.I was surprised at how much more active I became by not immediately sitting down to watch something or play a video game when I got home. Instead, I put on some good music and did some cleaning, something I "never have time to do." If I am able to keep up being more present in the world, I expect I will also continue to move more, which may just get me to be a better person.

No surprise here, but I am on track. 109 days to go. Hopefully this enthusiasm and vigor will continue into day 2. If nothing else, day 1 brought with it a much cleaner home and only a slightly painful transition.

109 Days to Go.

- The Fat Man

Oh and feel free to comment if you feel the same way or if you, too, are starting some goals for yourself. I'll do my best to read all of the  comments and respond! 

The Fat Man Returns

 

It's been 2 years and 4 months since I last made contact. 

But I'm back, back again, Fatman's back, tell a friend. 

Food be wary, diets be quick, for Fatman's here to restart this kick. I'm back with a self-hatred for the fat and motivated by that disgust and my overinflated thighs it is time to restart my journey into a normal-sized person. 

First an update: 

Like any good yo-yo dieter my weight has jumped up and down for the last two years. In the summer of 2013, I weighed a high of two-hundred and seventy bounds, and then I managed to slowly chip away at that until I got down to two fifty consistently.

Then I've played diet roulette for the better part of a year and a half.

But enough about that.

I've learned some things over the last two years and today I start fresh.

Like a beached whale returning to water for the first time since partially drying out, I will emerge from my literary cocoon to emerge as a fat man on a mission. Listen, I have a very specific goal. I need to firm up and focus so that I may be in the best shape of my life for June 27, 2015.

That gives me 110 days.

110 days to recommit to a better lifestyle, a better diet, and a better exercise routine.

So here's the plan. 

My trials recommence tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.

But I'm going to ease into it. I'm not going to jump straight in and burn out quickly. Instead, I'm going to work my way in a systematic fashion to ensure that I get the most success out of my plan. While I am fat now, I want to be less fat, more confident, and better equipped to take on the challenges of daily life. The next 110 days will be the challenge to end all challenges but when I'm finished I will be better for it.

So how am I going to do it?

Trial 1: Change the way I eat.

Trial 2: Implement an ongoing and continued exercise plan.

Trial 3: Reconnect to the world, pulling back from habits that I use to reinforce overeating and slothful behavior.

So why do I have a sense of optimism? What makes me think I can accomplish this goal when I have flailed so completely in the past? Blind faith mostly, but also I have a definite end date in mind, I have a plan to complete, and I have the burning desire to complete it. My sloth has finally gotten so bad that I can no longer deny that I need to make a major change.

The Breakdown

Trial 1. Following the advice of Dr. Joel Furhlman in his revolutionary book: Eat to Live: The Amazing Nutrient-Rich Diet for Fast and Sustained Weightloss which promises to help you lost 20lbs or more in six weeks. While most People would be skeptical of this title, I have read this book cover-to-cover over the last year and a half and it is mostly responsible for my transformation from 178lbs to 130lbs. I'm no longer 130lbs because I abandoned the lessons I learned in Eat to Live, but I am ready to re-implement them and hope that this blog will help.

Trial 2: I am going to start with the 100 push-up challenge. This challenge, which I have come dangerously close to completing helps you to quickly and easily gain muscle mass and leads you to fitness level where you can begin to engage in more strenuous activities. The guide on the website and companion app give you a scientifically proven routine to do in order to figure out the correct number of pushups for you and to build strength quickly. This will help me because I need a certain amount of upper body strength to be able to effectively recommit to my yoga routine. As you know, I love yoga, it was such a fantastic experience to do it for the better part of six months. Now I have another reason to do it every single day. In addition, I'm going to try to work in some cardiovascular training by doing the elliptical every morning at 5:30am followed by a quick and powerful juice smoothie and rounded off with an energizing round of yoga. For the two weeks, I will just do the elliptical and the hundred pushup challenge because I need to lose some weight and gain some muscle mass to be able to effectively do the yoga.

Trial 3: This goal has eluded me for quite some time. I've learned over the past two years that I have certain habits that are self-destructive and promote slothful behaviors and over eating. Basically, television watching and video game playing make me less productive overall and sap all of my remaining energy. I spend 2-3 hours a day watching television! That's a lot of hours.

I have a very demanding job that keeps me out of the house for 12 to 13 hours a day and all I want to do when I get home is sit down and do nothing. This leads to me wolfing down unhealthy snacks and overeating to fill the void.

While I really enjoy watching television, I feel that it promotes generalized sloth. Instead, I am going to try to replace the television with more engaging activities such as listening to podcasts and music while doing things.

 A Warning 

Finally, to end this post let me leave you with my last foray into fat-seeking behavior.


Today I craved this amazing rigatoni alla vodka pizza from this pizza place near me. Not only is it an amazing piece of pizza, but each slice has that amazing vodka sauce that I crave. Today, while in work, I could think of nothing but getting this pizza. All day it gnawed at my brain. So finally at lunch I decided to drive twenty-minutes out of my way from work to get this pizza.

In my head, the pizza is the most delicious thing I could have ever eaten. After eating two massive slices of penna alla vodka pizza, I realized something important. The actual sensation of completion I feel after eating the pizza is never as good as the build up in my head.

Then, despite being quite sated I wanted another favorite --> Silk Chocolate milk and this noodle pudding. So having no will power I gave in. I drove again to the store, bought the ingredients and pigged out until I was so full my sides began to hurt. And again, I had the same realization. The food did not taste nearly as good as I imagined it would when craving it. More importantly, after eating both meals, I felt worse rather than better.

 I feld like this:

So to my future fat-craving self, I say this:

RESIST the temptation. The food will NEVER taste as good as you think it will. Instead, it will leave you feeling bloated, fat, and shameful. Resist, resist, resist. Your mind has tricked you into thinking you will feel good, nay great, upon eating this Penna alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate Milk [or any other food] but you know better!

REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.

And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.


I have copied this reminder to myself and placed it on my phone in a note pad. The next time I get a craving I will read this message and hopefully be smart enough to avoid it. So here's to a restart, a return, a retrouver (french for returning from a trip). I am excited to begin this 110-day adventure. To anyone who has read the blog in the past: my deepest apologies for abandoning my quest and please bear with me as I begin again.

- The Fat Man