Day 4
Today I woke up weary. Just bone tired. I know part of the reason for being so tired is that I went to sleep about an hour later than I normally do. Part of it is thst the temperature dropped about 20 degrees overnight, but most of it is that I'm detoxing. That brings with it an apathetic resolve. More than an apathetic resolve, a low-grade fever, chills, and pain. If you read yesterday's post and thought, "Well that doesn't sound like withdrawal from a drug," maybe now you'll believe me. I am striving to be 100% honest and forthright in these posts.
I sit at work without any motivation to do anything, other than go home and sleep. And the cravings are setting in. I've been pretty good without craving much, but today is different. I have a general craving. A craving for some comforting food!
Now I know that there is a direct correlation between sleep (or the lack tbereof) and overeating. I'm not feeling cravings so intense that I'm driving out to get me some Penne alla Vodka pizza (even if that would be nice). Instead, I'm going to continue to stay focused on the task at hand: the quest towards better health.
All I'm saying is that it sucks. Maybe my pain will serve as motivation for you that you too can make it through the day without grabbing that food you crave.
Now I know I have a sickness in overeating because whenever I begin to crave food my mind flashes to images of hot steamy food that I know is delicious. Like a perverse real of food porn coursing through my head; pizza, toquitos, lasagna, etc. In fact, I was listening to Pandora and saw an ad for a new Taco Bell quesorito and I wanted to get in my car and go get one! How sick is that?
But, instead I will read through my mantra and push through the cravings:
Don’t Be Fat:
RESIST the temptation. The food will NEVER taste as good as you think it will. Instead, it will leave you feeling bloated, fat, and shameful. Resist, resist, resist. Your mind has tricked you into thinking you will feel good, nay great, upon eating this Penna alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate Milk [or any other food] but you know better!
REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.
And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.
REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.
And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.
Ain't that the truth!
And yet, the weariness, the low-grade fever got worse so I ended up going home and trying to sleep it off. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be good again, I will be back in perfect form ready to hit each trial with a integrity of spirit that these trials deserve.
Until then, the Fat Man --> only 106 days to go.
Until then, the Fat Man --> only 106 days to go.
- The Fatman
Feel free to comment if you, too, are experiencing similar problems in your attempts to detox. Or, if you have in the past undergone similar changes. I'd love to hear about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment