It's been 2 years and 4 months since I last made contact.
But I'm back, back again, Fatman's back, tell a friend.
Food be wary, diets be quick, for Fatman's here to restart this kick. I'm back with a self-hatred for the fat and motivated by that disgust and my overinflated thighs it is time to restart my journey into a normal-sized person.
First an update:
Like any good yo-yo dieter my weight has jumped up and down for the last two years. In the summer of 2013, I weighed a high of two-hundred and seventy bounds, and then I managed to slowly chip away at that until I got down to two fifty consistently.
Then I've played diet roulette for the better part of a year and a half.
But enough about that.
I've learned some things over the last two years and today I start fresh.
Like a beached whale returning to water for the first time since partially drying out, I will emerge from my literary cocoon to emerge as a fat man on a mission. Listen, I have a very specific goal. I need to firm up and focus so that I may be in the best shape of my life for June 27, 2015.
That gives me 110 days.
110 days to recommit to a better lifestyle, a better diet, and a better exercise routine.
So here's the plan.
My trials recommence tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.
But I'm going to ease into it. I'm not going to jump straight in and burn out quickly. Instead, I'm going to work my way in a systematic fashion to ensure that I get the most success out of my plan. While I am fat now, I want to be less fat, more confident, and better equipped to take on the challenges of daily life. The next 110 days will be the challenge to end all challenges but when I'm finished I will be better for it.
So how am I going to do it?
Trial 1: Change the way I eat.
Trial 2: Implement an ongoing and continued exercise plan.
Trial 3: Reconnect to the world, pulling back from habits that I use to reinforce overeating and slothful behavior.
So why do I have a sense of optimism? What makes me think I can accomplish this goal when I have flailed so completely in the past? Blind faith mostly, but also I have a definite end date in mind, I have a plan to complete, and I have the burning desire to complete it. My sloth has finally gotten so bad that I can no longer deny that I need to make a major change.
The Breakdown
Trial 1. Following the advice of Dr. Joel Furhlman in his revolutionary book: Eat to Live: The Amazing Nutrient-Rich Diet for Fast and Sustained Weightloss which promises to help you lost 20lbs or more in six weeks. While most People would be skeptical of this title, I have read this book cover-to-cover over the last year and a half and it is mostly responsible for my transformation from 178lbs to 130lbs. I'm no longer 130lbs because I abandoned the lessons I learned in Eat to Live, but I am ready to re-implement them and hope that this blog will help.
Trial 2: I am going to start with the 100 push-up challenge. This challenge, which I have come dangerously close to completing helps you to quickly and easily gain muscle mass and leads you to fitness level where you can begin to engage in more strenuous activities. The guide on the website and companion app give you a scientifically proven routine to do in order to figure out the correct number of pushups for you and to build strength quickly. This will help me because I need a certain amount of upper body strength to be able to effectively recommit to my yoga routine. As you know, I love yoga, it was such a fantastic experience to do it for the better part of six months. Now I have another reason to do it every single day. In addition, I'm going to try to work in some cardiovascular training by doing the elliptical every morning at 5:30am followed by a quick and powerful juice smoothie and rounded off with an energizing round of yoga. For the two weeks, I will just do the elliptical and the hundred pushup challenge because I need to lose some weight and gain some muscle mass to be able to effectively do the yoga.
Trial 3: This goal has eluded me for quite some time. I've learned over the past two years that I have certain habits that are self-destructive and promote slothful behaviors and over eating. Basically, television watching and video game playing make me less productive overall and sap all of my remaining energy. I spend 2-3 hours a day watching television! That's a lot of hours.
I have a very demanding job that keeps me out of the house for 12 to 13 hours a day and all I want to do when I get home is sit down and do nothing. This leads to me wolfing down unhealthy snacks and overeating to fill the void.
While I really enjoy watching television, I feel that it promotes generalized sloth. Instead, I am going to try to replace the television with more engaging activities such as listening to podcasts and music while doing things.
A Warning
Today I craved this amazing rigatoni alla vodka pizza from this pizza place near me. Not only is it an amazing piece of pizza, but each slice has that amazing vodka sauce that I crave. Today, while in work, I could think of nothing but getting this pizza. All day it gnawed at my brain. So finally at lunch I decided to drive twenty-minutes out of my way from work to get this pizza.
In my head, the pizza is the most delicious thing I could have ever eaten. After eating two massive slices of penna alla vodka pizza, I realized something important. The actual sensation of completion I feel after eating the pizza is never as good as the build up in my head.
Then, despite being quite sated I wanted another favorite --> Silk Chocolate milk and this noodle pudding. So having no will power I gave in. I drove again to the store, bought the ingredients and pigged out until I was so full my sides began to hurt. And again, I had the same realization. The food did not taste nearly as good as I imagined it would when craving it. More importantly, after eating both meals, I felt worse rather than better.
I feld like this:
So to my future fat-craving self, I say this:
RESIST the temptation. The food will NEVER taste as good as you think it will. Instead, it will leave you feeling bloated, fat, and shameful. Resist, resist, resist. Your mind has tricked you into thinking you will feel good, nay great, upon eating this Penna alla Vodka Pizza or Noodle Pudding and Chocolate Milk [or any other food] but you know better!
REMEMBER the pain in your stomach, the uncomfortable gastro-intestinal discomfort afterwards. Remember that after eating just two slices of the not-as-good-as-you-remembered pizza that you felt congestion in your throat as your body fought to keep up with the dairy. Remember that your nose began to run and that your stomach felt as if it were being pressed into your kidneys, your esophagus, and your pelvis all at the same time. Remember that you feel like you can feel each gram of fat on your body crying out in shame and pain. FINALLY REMEMBER that after you ate the food you felt like GARBAGE -- specifically you feel bloated, tired, sluggish, and slightly nauseous. This is not how your body is designed to feel. The food you are craving right now will not make you feel better, it will not satisfy your craving, instead you will crave it again tomorrow which will not only derail your goals, but will keep you fat, unhappy, and alone. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.
And remember: this craving, too, shall pass.
I have copied this reminder to myself and placed it on my phone in a note pad. The next time I get a craving I will read this message and hopefully be smart enough to avoid it. So here's to a restart, a return, a retrouver (french for returning from a trip). I am excited to begin this 110-day adventure. To anyone who has read the blog in the past: my deepest apologies for abandoning my quest and please bear with me as I begin again.
- The Fat Man
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