Day 30: Tried and True

The method is tried and true. Get up, workout and feel great. While I may not love it at the time. Being able to reflect on it, I feel that I am able to grow from it. I am getting stronger, more flexible, and one day I wil be able to be confident in my own body type. Until that day, I say keep on swimming.

Day 28: Eating Craves Exercise

I feel like there is an uncanny connection between the amount of food my body desires and the the nt of exercise I do. For whatever reason, whenever I exercise vigorously, my appetite is sated. But whenever I can't exercise for whatever reason, I find that I crave food that much more. It's actually ridiculous.

Regardless, I am excited to keep going. And that just means that my resolution of moving every single days means that I need to keep moving in order to keep my appetite satisfied.

Day 27: nailing it

Back in a rhythm! Now just 212 days more! You keep it up too!!

Missed Day 1 (and 2)

And so here I am, dejected at my first missed day. You will notice, however, that I chose not to miss even a single day until I was sure that a habit was created! Unfortunately, missing a day, just made today's yoga even harder. It was like downward dog was a cobra striking at my exposed underbelly! Dang.

Anyway, I missed yesterday because I was forced to be out of the house and away from internet and life for the full day and when I got home that night, I was far too exhausted from the day's activities to attempt to do anything but sleep. You know what exhaustion where your head is pounding and you can't move an inch. So, I just went to sleep instead.

But I'm up and back at it again. Today was a little harder as I mentioned but I still have 27 days completed.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards!

Enjoy the day!

Day 26: Habit Day

I failed.

I'm embarrassed to say it, but it's true. I had to get up for work this morning and I did my yoga, but after the typical Friday night reverie, my body just wasn't having it. I only made it halfway through my 20 minute routine (10 minutes).

But just because I failed this morning does not mean I am giving up. I will try again later tonight when I get home from work. I will hope that, by then, I am awake.

My theory? My body just needs more rest. Not necessarily rest from the yoga activity, but rest in general. Trying to do yoga when still half asleep made it more difficult than necessary.


Oh, well. I will succeed on habit day!

Day 25: Chemical Changes

I know I've said that yoga has been getting easier. But I must also say that I think I understand how a habit works.

Now, I have no scientific background or any training in science, but I'm starting to think that my body is undergoing some kind of chemical change in response to the habit. My body is responding to the use of yoga and rewarding me. Every time I complete the exercise, I get a sense of relief, almost like my body is beginning to crave the activity. It's why I'm starting to think that a habit is really just a chemical response to habituation. I've effectively managed to rewire my brain into thinking that I will be happier if I complete my yoga.

Regardless, I'm pleased that I'm just one day away from a habit forming.

For all of you experiencing the same phenomenon, congratulations! Keep working on your goals. Just 11 more months to go!

Day 24: sup?

In the terrible movie Tower Heist, Chris Murphy is watching a bigger woman crack a safe. She looks up at him and he says, "Sup?" As in, "Sup girl? How you doin'?" That's how I feel.

Sup yoga, how you doin'? You ready to submit to my superior dominance of you! You ready to reward all my time practicing Downward Dog and Powerful Pose. Well show you Powerful Pose. In other words, he'll yeah, I'm crushing this. I'm almost to the point where yoga is supposed to be ingrained as a habit and I feel it. I'm ready to continue to do this always. I'm ready to keep this as a lifelong habit and get fit and strong.

And yet, I wonder if I should be pushing myself to try something new. If I should branch out to some other power yoga routines or consider changing my goal to do more physical activity. Regardless, I believe I should start every day with yoga and then work more physical activity into my routine!


A friend noted why I lIke Power Yoga: Stamina, so much more than Yoga Now. Essentially, power yoga is yoga now (with Mariel Hemingsway) but without the cardio and the annoying voices. I mean, I don't know how I didn't catch it–it's literally the same thing!

What's even funnier is that my friend really want to write a story about how Mariel and Rodney Yee got together to engage in this yoga class. I look forward to reading it and will, of course, keep you updated!

Overall, then, my goal to complete 60 days of yoga is well underway. I am at day 23 of yoga and day 24 of activity in some form.

You too should keep going with your goals. Note the majesty of completing them and the power
You feel doing them. And in the spirit of Rodney Yee, feel the power of your breath fill you up and ground you into the earth, into your mind, and into your soul!

Keep up the good work!

Day 23: 3 Days and Counting

So, with only three days left, I'm finding that it's getting easier. Easier to do my yoga and easier to be present during the day.


More than anything I am happy that I have been able to stick it out for almost a month now. I am excited because I am confident that in another 3 weeks or so I will feel even better an begin to start seeing results!

Keep up your good work as well because in just 3 days, we will be at a habit and then the hard part will be over!

Day 22: Back On Schedule

All right, as you can probably tell from the time stamp of this post, I'm back at my normal schedule. It was a little difficult to jump right back in and make sure that my yoga form was perfect, Especially after doing yoga last thing last night, but it was and is supremely necessary to ensuring that I feel good and am able to keep on track towards the habit forming.

The best part is that I've tried to to tailor the activity of exercising to blogging so I always do this after that.

Regardless, I'm running late so back to the grind!

Keep up the hard work, believe it or not we're almost there! 4 more days and we have ourselves a habit. Plus at this point you will surely see your fellow goal-setters dropping like flies. Take pride in your accomplishment and realize that you have been gunning towards being better and better!! Be proud. Be mighty. Be powerful!

Day 21: X2

2 times the lazy equals my (almost) first day of missing activity. Ugh. I hit a slump that was the couch, but I'm back and at 'em. I snuck it in and I'm ready for the week.


Cheers y'all.

C'mon, five more days! We can do this!!


To Habit forming!

Day 19: Reluctant Movement

It still sucks, but it's almost at the point where it's just not that bad. I do it, and then I move on. I get up, do my yoga, and then proceed to do anything else.

On an unrelated note, I have a new phenomena happening that has been quite disconcerting.

Every morning after I do my yoga, I shower, eat breakfast and get ready for my day. I get dressed and pick out an outfit that I think makes me look fairly good and then its off to work. But something strange has been happening.

I'll look into the mirror to see how my outfit looks and I look out and see this fairly attractive person looking back at me. The clothes I pick out seem to be flattering in all the right ways. I'm like, nice! This is going to be a good day. Then I leave the house and head to work.

It is only halfway through work, usually when I stop off at the restroom that I see it. My body and clothing choices have transformed. Instead of a slightly attractive person, I just see a fat guy staring out at me. The clothes I thought looked slimming at home, are all popped out and bulgy in all the wrong places.

I've developed two theories for this later day telescoping that is happening! One: I actually am ballooning once I get to work based on the different humidity and whatnot at home compared to work. Two: My mirrors at home suck the big one and some crazy anorexic installed slimming mirrors!

I'm convinced it has to be one or the other, because otherwise there is no explanation.

Oh well! Here's to another day of telescoping and ballooning!

Good luck with your goals today, keep up the great work I know you have it in you to continue moving forward. We're only 5 days away from that habit!

Keep it up!

Day 18: Ugh

Hello the day after national quit your resolutions day!

 I have to say I think I know why yesterday was national quit your resolutions day. It's because the day after is the day your body rejects your goals.

I woke up this morning and my body rejected all forms of activity. I did my yoga, but it was not okay. It was so, so hard!

Ugh. And yet, I finished it, even if poorly!

One more day. I'll just keep going.

Good luck to you as well!

Day 17: The Squeeze Before The Weekend

Hello, National Quit Your Resolutions Day.

Guess what? I didn't quit! I reaffirmed my commitment to my goals and I am confident I will continue to meet all of my goals all year!

Happy National Don't Quit Your Resolutions But Realize You're Awesome and Ready to Rock The Party Day!!

I hope you have a great day! I'm out celebrating that I got yoga in before my earliest day yet!
Have a good one y'all!

Day 16: Free Flow

Perhaps one of the best motivation tools that I have discovered is telling everyone exactly what I'm doing.

In the past, I would keep these goals secret to myself so when I failed them, I would not have to answer any uncomfortable questions about how I failed to complete my goals.

But when you tell everyone who is willing to listen about your goals, you invite yourself to be critiqued and it acts as a motivating factor!

You realize that you need live up to the expectations set by yourself and the hype you have developed over creating your goals. Even better, you develop a fan club, of sorts, that is rooting for you to complete your goals.

Now that we are at day 16, I am confident I will reach Day 26 (the habit day) and be ready to face any other challenges in my quest to make it to 320 days of moving.

Today's exercise was fluid and easy. I am beginning to worry that I am not challenging myself enough because my heart rate rises, but does not consistently stay raised for the entire 20 minutes. I may have to consider revising which yoga I do or, at the very least, consider doing more of this this.

Keep on trucking! And consider sharing your goals with others so that you stay motivated as well!!

Day 15: Up The Ante

According to Google, January 17th is National Abandon Your New Year's Resolution Day!

This is great news. It means we are almost to the point of getting to quitting and if we keep going for a little bit longer, we will get to habit. If National Abandon Your New Year's Resolution Day was the 26th of January, it would fail to be a holiday because so many people would have created a holiday!

Keep pushing through to the Saturday after next and you will conquer this. You will change your life by instilling a goals-based habit in your body and mind.

For me, I know that my routine has gotten a little tired. I find that I am able to do my Yoga without as much elevation of the heartrate and without struggling. At the same time, I do my routine in the morning when I'm first waking up and so I need something I can do consistently.

This week I am going to start challenging myself. I want to add something a little more to my routine. Now that my back is feeling better and I've learned not to push myself past my extremes, it is time to think about upping the ante; changing my routine in such a way that it will be difficult and engaging.

I know it is a drag to keep going, but I won't see results for six to eight weeks and I want to make sure that I see them. What has happened in the past is that I get to two to 3 weeks and its over, I'm done and don't ever get a chance to see the six to eight week mark. This time around, I want to make sure I make it.

I have a very important engagement coming up on the 11th of March and want to be in top form. Thus, its time to remember to bear down and stick with it. It's time not to get intimidated by a little time and play it to my advantage.

Right now it's winter. That ugly time when all I want to do is eat and cuddle under a blanket. But that's not what is going to happen. I'm going to keep moving and blogging and eating right so when I reach March and Spring is in the air, I will feel good about knowing that my resolve, my body, my mind, and my spirit have all matured and developed this year. I know you can do the same.

Join me as we keep fighting past national abandon your resolutions day! Keep fighting!

Day 14: Halway There

Wo-oh, we're half way there, wo-oh, living on a prayer!

We have almost done it! We're halfway to forming a habit of exercise and movement. To get ourselves on the track towards a better life and happier life. More than anything, this is the longest I have been able to keep a resolution in a long time ad it feels amazing!

As I start this new week, I am excited to incorporate this exercise into my routine! As I push forward this week, I will keep looking forward towards the future and remembering that I can do this. I can win this New Year.

Day 13: A Body's Recognition

Despite the pain in my back, I made sure to do my Yoga yesterday but I waited until much later in the evening to help my back heal as much as possible. One unintended consequence of this act was to make Yoga that much harder on me. I was full from dinner and attempting yoga. Boy, was that quite the experience. Regardless it was clear that while it was harder than I may have remembered, it was important for me to continue pushing forward.


As the days mount to weeks and we get to the two week point. I will remember to listen more to my body's signals and remember when it is time to slow down or continue further.

Alas, it is time to rest.

Day 12: A Pain in the Back

In the past my goals have been halted by excuses. But sometimes they were halted by injuries as well. Last night I noticed that my back was hurting. I was able to get up and do my Yoga anyway, but I have to say I am disaapointed that I might have pulled something in my back. My biggest fear, of course, is that this will be a long-term injury that will make me stop doing Yoga all together. If that is the case, then I will be forced to find another form of exercise.

Today was not the greatest in terms of my goals, but I did not let it slow me down all that much. I am excited to keep going but realize that this is the first, of possibly many slowdowns.

At least it’s the weekend.

Day 11: The Unwanted-Needed

I apologize for yesterday's less than adequate post. I realized that in my attempts to form habits both in blogging and in moving more, there are going to be days where there is just no time for extended entries. At those times you will get a quick response from me where I undoubtedly detail my somewhat struggling state of mind. Hopefully, however, you did not even notice the absence.

I have been thinking. Any time I have tried to make something a habit there comes a time when I just do not want it as much as I used to. There comes a time when the desire to do that activity is diminished. Usually for me, this phenomenon happens when I have a day of relaxation. For example, I had half a day today, where I only needed to report to work for half the day. So last night I went out and saw a movie knowing I would just sleep in this morning. And I did that. But I noticed that when I woke up, everything was off. The careful routine that I have been diligent to maintain (where I wake up, do yoga, shower, eat breakfast) is completely ruined. Instead, I have my "lazy day" routine, where I wake up, eat, eat some more, watch television, shower and then get on with my day. You'll notice two things about the difference. In the lazy-day routine, I am hungrier, my eating schedule is messed up (instead of breakfast at 8-9ish) it comes at 9:30-11ish and it is double in size. Instead of exercise, I replace it with food and television. And I never get to exercise.

Today was one of those days. I woke up, ate, ate some more, watched television, showered, and went to work. My beautiful exercise routine was destroyed and I was hungrier than I was before that. It was only when I worked out again, something I did not even realize my body craved that I started to feel right again. I actually woke up for the first time (instead of that half awake, zombie-like awake) and realized that the exercise for me was an unwanted-need. It was something I did not want to do but desperately needed. To be honest, I was hungry before I decided to exercise. But instead of eating, I exercised and was significantly less hungry and more alert.

The lesson, for me, then was that I need to be more careful with my routines. If I had forced myself to exercise earlier, I would not have come close to missing my activity for the day and I likely would have been more productive overall for the rest of the day!

So as you struggle with your own goals realize two things: one, sometime you need to engage in the unwanted-need and just do it; two, you're almost at two full weeks! Two full weeks of sticking with something. By now you should be seeing the most modest results. Maybe you're not quite as out of breath while walking to your car (like me) or maybe you noticed that you can get your heel all the way to the ground at times during your downward facing dog (which I CAN!!!). These small gains should be reminders that you are doing incredibly well. You are smart, powerful, sexy, and strong. You are confident, funny, and kind. You are the king or queen of your domain and this next week will be even better than the last. Welcome to 2013, you're ringing in the New Year with style and you have a lot to be proud of. Great job sticking to your goals! (And if you have not and you have slipped don't let that define you. Instead, dust yourself back off and get back on the horse! And don't wait. Don't say, "I'll start again tomorrow" (or next week) because you NEVER will. Instead make the commitment to get back up right now! You can do this!)

Day 10: Slowing Down

I don't know about you, but when the pressure starts mounting, I find everything needs to drop away but the most important activities. While I was able to do my Yoga today I felt a decided lack of enthusiasm for the task. I know that I need to do it, but its become a hassle. At the same time, I am only 16 days away from forming a habit!

So, with that in mind, I begin to think that I may just be able to pull this off. Once the habit is formed, its necessity and my body's urges will take over!

I hope you are having better luck and more motivation!

Day 9: A Hamtastic Voyage

Every since I was little, I have struggled to increase my flexibility.

We had to do "fitness tests" in physical education and I was always so inflexible. Mainly it was a problem with my hamstrings. They were always so tight.

Later on, this led to a number of problems. I was prone to roll my ankles and sprain them because my hamstrings were so tight.

I have made short gains on my hamstrings, but nothing that has helped much.

I'm telling you all of this because I have noticed that of all my body parts, my hamstrings are the most affected by all the yoga I have been doing. It has only been eight days of yoga, but I already feel a difference. Today, I was finally able to master keeping my heels down during the "downward dog" pose. Because of this, I have been walking around with sore hamstrings all day.

And yet, I've had a smile on my face. This is a good thing. I wonder what other major improvements I can make over the course of this experiment.

I'm hoping that by the end of the 60 days of yoga that I will be much more flexible and limber. But also retain some significant strength in my legs and arms.

I highly recommend doing yoga. I will keep you posted as I move forward.


What have you struggled with? Take time to think about those struggles that relate to your goals and see if anything you are doing addresses them directly or indirectly. If so, consider how this will positively impact your life.

Day 8: As the creases fold

I still maintain that Power Yoga is vastly superior to Yoga Now in all ways except for sheer entertainment value, of which Yoga Now reigns supreme. Interestingly enough, I had a conversation with someone who independently did Yoga Now and we both picked up on how Rodney Yee and Mariel Hemingsway bash the crap out of Renee. It made for a very entertaining conversation all the way around.

Today, while attempting Power Yoga, I marveled at how my fat literally moved due to some intense stretches and I got thinking this has to be good for my body. Whereas, that back fat must have been stationary for literally years, moving it has lead to vastly different abilities to move.

When I noticed my creases fold I was attempting the bow pose, which is supposed to look like this:

Notice that in the correct bow pose the amount of arch in the back.

I did a search for "fat bow pose" and I found nothing. Literally all of the people seen doing the bow pose are skinny. See:

The only thing close to "Fat bow pose" that came even close was this:

The lesson: Fat people are not meant to do the Bow Pose!!

Here's why:

Notice on this doll that her fat midsection is protruding (as it is want to do), and that there is no arch to the back. In order to sustain an arch to the back, that fat literally has to go somewhere else. This is what I learned today. The fat around my back literally transported to another place, around my side. It was not painful per se, but it was disconcerting.

It makes me want to attempt to pose again and again to see if I learned anything.

Anyway, avoid the bow pose if your obese, at least for now!



****


On an unrelated note, my friend who knows that I am trying to move more sent me a youtube link to Billy Blanks's TaeBo Boot Camp.

Let's just say, that is in a whole different league. I know my movement goal calls for me to being moving around some more, but that Billy Blanks needs to relax. Wow. But for a good move around check it out. It is completely different from yoga. The one positive, is that I noticed some mediocre gains in my hamstring flexibility!

But my arm strength is significantly lacking as Billy Blanks was clear to point out. I only made it 11 minuntes into his 27 boot camp work out!

Oh well!

More for tomorrow.

As you leave and go about accomplishing your goals. Think about adding some spice into your goal. What can you do that is similar but a chance? Adding Taebo is sure a change for me and while I definitely did not complete it (yet!), it made me realize some of the small measures of progress I have made in yoga, especially with bending and holding! So while we normally would reflect on our progress towards the end of the week, take heed in the small indicators that you are making positive changes towards your goals.

Day 7: All Yoga is NOT created equal

I know I have cursed Rodney Yee in the past, but that was  because I was using Accelerated Yoga Now with Rodney Yee and Mariel Hemingway.  Yoga Now features both Rodney Yee and Mariel as the guides of a class with three "students" in the background, a male, a female, and Renee. All I can say for Renee is that she is the class's punching bag. After every instruction, Rodney will be like, "And look at Renee who can't touch the ground, she is using blocks instead," or "Notice how Reneee doesn't go all the way down but chooses to instead rest at this portion."


This is Renee:

Notice Renee's Block, the subject of much derision.

It's not like Renee is doing anything wrong, in fact she's probably the only non-super Yogi in the group, and yet Rodney Yee an Mariel make fun of her constantly. "If you can't bend all the way, like Renee, then don't (but we'll judge you later when we make the audio recording)."

So yes, this can be funny at times, but it also makes it really hard to concentrate when you are doing this for the 5th or 6th time. Enough with Renee, enough with Mariel talking over everything. The only person who should be allowed to talk is Rodney Yee. He has a smooth, calming, and deep voice that tells you how to do the postures and offers advice like, "Smooth your eyes" or "Hollow your belly," whatever that means. So, he should be allowed to make comments.

The other problem with Yoga Now is that it is a class set in a dance studio. I don't want to see a bunch of other people doing Yoga. This is not jazzercize, this is not Tae-Boe, this is yoga. I want to be at peace.

So, anyway, the purpose of this rant was that I have been doing the Yoga Now for the last week and am tired of it. For example, in the very beginning, you do breathing exercises, and Rodney Yee says, "Drop into the ground, really get a sense of releasing, the ebb and flow of the breath moving through the body . . . Ahh, just that nice simple ease of the release." And then Mariel says, "It's always nice to have a moment of silence," but she ruins it by the fact that she is speaking over the whole take! It's so annoying. And even if it weren't, there is no way to turn off their commentary when you get advanced enough to know what is coming next.

Anyway, despite the fact that I could not do the entire hour of Yoga Now, this morning when I sat down to do the program, I decided, nuh uh, no more. So I switched to Power Yoga: Stamina.

What a difference. First of all, this is the screenshot of Power Yoga:

While an almost Naked Rodney Yee does not do it for me. The fact that there is no dance studio, there is beautiful scenery, and Rodney Yee it the only instructor, and he only instructs as necessary was a breath of Fresh Air. Additionally, Power Yoga is 20 minutes, my perfect goal, and it gets you moving and constantly going from position to position, so it is tough, but moves quickly and feels amazing!

It is unbelievable what a difference I felt after Power Yoga. I was not anxious afterwards but relaxed and thankful. So from now on, it is Power Yoga. Plus, I could use some stamina.

Overall, this was a great way to start the day. I know that as my schedule gets more hectic in the next couple of days, I will appreciate Power Yoga for keeping me relaxed and energized as I go into the day.

Good luck today and keep tight to those resolutions, today marks a full week since we started and I know we can finish them.

Find 1 minute of peace today to think about yourself and what you hope to accomplish. Think back over the last week. Think about what you have done well and then think about what you will do even better in this coming week. Don't give up.

In the words of Galaxy Quest: "Never Give Up, Never Surrender!"

See, even a skeptical and young Tim Allen is ready to launch forward out into space and complete his mission.

Day 6: Back on Track

All right. Six days down, 359 to go!

Well that doesn't sound imposing.

On the more positive side, they (being those in the know) say that it only takes six to eight weeks of any new change to see results.

But that's also the problem. I've often started things at the beginning of the year, only to drop them later on. I rarely make it to the six to eight week mark. On the rare occasions when I have, however, I have been pleasantly surprised by the results.

For past diets, I've felt a better mental clarity, more energy, and even slimming around the waist. For workouts, I've seen increased strength and stamina.

But for some reason, I just can't put them together. I haven't been able to stare down a challenge and just say, "fin."

I feel like the first week is always the hardest, but we've made it to a week and that is something of which we should be proud. And yet, I feel like I have not been putting my best foot forward. While I have not been sneaking food, I have not been eating less. While, I have been eating healthier, I have been eating larger quantities. And when I just weighed myself, I managed to gain weight, instead of lose it.

I'm hoping that the increased exercise has also lead to increased muscle mass (although how much of that could I really be carrying around) and that is the reason for the weight gain. Either way, I'm staying with it. (I want that iPad mini 2!!).

Thank you all for bearing with my ramblings. To leave on a more positive note, I challenge you to remember a time when you have successfully completed something (however small) and how that has made you feel. For me, I once completed 8 weeks of the 100 Pushup Challenge. While I did not get to 100 pushups, I got to the point where I could do 45 in a row, and do multiple sets of 40. It was quite the achievement. I gained triceps, I gained strength and I felt great!

I know that we can accomplish our goals this year and I am excited to get to that point. While we look forward from here and see 359 more days, we also must face the reality that we've made it past some. Soon we will be able ot see that there are fewer days ahead than there are behind. And like so many wise people have said before us, it is not the goal that is important but the journey that gets us there. And so with that I leave you after another successful day. Good luck with your goals and may you have a very pleasant week!

Day 5: Whoops, here we go.

So, I totally meant to blog last night after doing my Yoga, but I forgot and then it slipped until this morning. Does this mean I have missed a day? Or can I make up for it by making two posts today?

Is building a habit more about the number of times you do something or the number of days you do it?

I'm hoping it is the number of times, but I will acknowledge my mistake and realize that one of my precious 25 days of missing blogging has expired. I may only miss 24 more before I am out of my own contest.

Wuh-oh! Anyway, I did my yoga last night and it was a stuggle just to get to 20 minutes. I'm not sure I will every be able to finish the entire 50 minutes, but I will keep trying!

As for you, good luck on Day 6!

Day 4: Why is Yoga so hard?

Damn you Rodney Yee.

You make every move look so easy. You make bending at the waste and throwing one leg through the arms look like it should take no effort whatsoever, but it is hard!!

Speaking of hard, today was the first time that I started to waiver in my commitment to my goals. I know! Only four days in and we waiver all ready!

I think I know what happened. I did my exercise yesterday afternoon at 2pm and thus I went a full 24 hours without moving again. Combine that with the fact that I did not get as much sleep and that I was traveling around from rural areas to a city and back, it makes the challenge of sticking with my resolutions that much more difficult. To the point where I almost fell asleep without exercising and would have not done it.

But, once I started to exercise,I felt better about it.


I think that one thing I should work on to help me develop the habit of moving more and exercising daily is to ensure that I am doing it at roughly the same time everyday. This way, it will be worked into a routine of mine.

Hopefully, in the coming days and weeks, I will see improvements in my ability to finish even one yoga DVD and in my ability to get to exercising more quickly, without struggling to meet my goal.

Regardless, I should take a moment to be proud of the fact that I did my goal today. Now it is time for an affirmation:

Like you, I am strong. I am powerful beyond measure. It is times like these when I think of one of my favorite quotes from Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. 

Likewise, I believe in both myself and you. We are powerful beyond measure. We are great, beautiful, smart, thoughtful, kind, and good looking. We are strong, lean, and fit. It is within us all to reach our potential. Let us be not better versions of ourselves, but more confident, prouder versions of who we already are.

And with that I wish you luck on your day four. May your convictions to your goals never waiver. May you be on the right track to power and strength.

Day 3: rolling in a vat of pain

Day 3.

What up days 1 and 2? I see your back and spit on it! You've got nothing of substance to offer me! Boom!

Day 3 already feels like a mountain to climb. I woke up this morning with a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was something I have not felt for quite some time! Every time I rolled over I felt pain in muscles I wasn't even sure I still had!

I've felt lactic acid buildup but not usually so concentrated that it is too painful. My first thought? How would I work out when feeling like this. The answer, it turned out, was painfully.

I tried to delay the pain for as long as possible, figuring it would go away. It didn't.

Never fear. I persevered! Challenge 1: passed! Damn I'm good!

If I were to be really honest, I like that lactic acid pain because it reminds me that I have muscles in those places and it inspires me to keep going!

I've never worked out consistently enough to know if those with massive muscles feel that pain all the time or if they just feel massively powerful all the time. I doubt it. The little experience I do have suggests that the pain goes away unless you constantly ramp up the type of exercise you do!

Regardless, today's workout was even harder than yesterday. I did Rodney Yee's Yoga Burn, which, like it sounds, burns heavily! I'm not sure exactly what I was thinking, considering that this workout is meant to be intermediate yoga. In fact the description says "master those yoga poses with a rigorous burning sensation that will course through your body."

Anyway, unsurprisingly, I only made it through 13 minutes of tit before I had to turn to my much easier AM yoga routine:

Regardless, combined, the two routines met my twenty minute requirement! I'm hoping in a few weeks I will be able to do both routines without stopping. Then j can begin to work on form.

The even better news is that I only have to do 58 more days of yoga to lock in the largest memory 64gb internal storage on my iPad mini 2 that I will get when I complete my goal!

Okay, time for today's affirmation of tr day.

Despite the fact that my head is small when compared to my massive body, and that my rolls number more than the local bakery, I am making progress towards my New Year's Resolution to move more I know if I accomplish my goal I will be powerful beyond measure! I will be successful in all that I undertake, and I will prove my body wrong!! It will no longer be controlled by urges to eat more and more, but will be lean, svelte, and strong! I believe in myself, my goals, and my ability to accomplish both.

From me to you. Keep working on your goals!

Day 2: Yoga

So, I woke up and I wanted to get a start on the day and get my workout out of the way before settling down to do other things.

The problem I have with working out is it is nowhere near as routinized into my daily life as it needs to be. Right now it is a chore that takes an hour or more.

The process looks something like this:

1) Get up.

2) Think about working out

3) Thinking really hard about it and remind myself that I need to keep doing this.

4) Finally start

5) Quick in a sweaty, heaping mess 20 minutes later

It's a messy process.

Anyway, I got up and did my 20 minutes, so day 2 down. (More later)

Day 1: Just made it!

I was under the impression that I would be able to start working out and that I would instantly be good at it.

I would tell my body to do something and I would easily be doing a full cardio routine in just minutes.

At 11:38, I realized I still had not worked out for this first day. (Even though at the time of this writing, it is the next day.) To do so, I realized I would need to get my workout in post haste or right away. Now I defined workout as any 20 minute session of heartrate increasing activity.

So, I buckled down and started doing some jumping jacks. Some push ups, some karate, some running in place, and some crunches. It all was very exhausting and not at all what I thought it would be. And, the worst part, I was only able to make it 12 to 14 minutes.

But this goal is about moving more and getting active. Baby steps. So while I did not meet my 20 full minutes of movement, I will count it towards my grand total of 320 and will keep moving towards that elusive fitness goal.

1 down, 319 to go.

The Lard (hard) and Blobby Truth

So, I just found those last two posts floating around form when I spent a lot of time thinking about what I would write on this blog. Those days when I would hunt around the Internet for an hour or more to find the right picture to illustrate my point. When I would think of witty retorts to my own adventure to make it seem interesting or enlightening.


The truth is, since I've started this blog in September of 2010 (two and a half years ago), I've done nothing but morph into a fatter version of the fat man that was represented in the earlier posts. And yet, nothing I said in my first post was inaccurate. Everything I felt and everything I hated back then about being Fat, I hate even more today. Since that time, I've gained at least twenty pounds and have struggled to maintain my weight. I have struggled to find clothes that fit me. I have been embarrassed in social situations and have engaged in the death spiral—TV depression = food consumption = lethargy = TV and Depression = Food = Lethargy!

Perhaps the lowest moment was when I went to go give blood. I sat down in the chair, filled out all of the paper work and then was ready to have them start giving blood. But you know what happened? They couldn't find any veins. They said, "I'm sorry I just can't find any veins, maybe you should be drinking more water and working out more." And that was it. I was rejected from giving blood.


The reality is, there are many different kinds of fat. There are moderately fat—too fat to feel good about yourself, but not so fat that you can't do things; obese fat—you have reached the size of an undomesticated beast; and it's just enough fat—you can't move or do what you would want to do. The sad thing is, once you move past the continuum, it becomes harder and harder to hide that your fight.

If you've had weight problems you've learned all the tricks. Wear stiff starched shirts that don't have a lot of give so that it covers your unnaturally plump curves; wear an undershirt to act as a buffer between your clothes and the outside layer of fat; wear stripes and other eye fooling shirtwear. And yet, at some point you just can't escape it. Your belly hangs over your pants, down your sides and you can't hide to the world that you are fat. You can't hide your shame. And so you go out into public begrudgingly.

But I'm tired. I'm tired of overeating. I'm tired of being lethargic. I know this echoes much earlier posts from two years ago, but what I said then is equally true today.

As I mentioned in my New Year's Resolution post, this year is about moving more and getting fitter. It's about making some systematic changes that will result in a fitter, happier, and more mobile me.

While weight loss may very well be the goal. The reality of my journey is that it is about looking and feeling good. So while I may have failed at running and eating healthy, I now have some tools and (hopefully) the will power to make some real, transformative change that will allow me to be a better, stronger, and healthier person.

And with that I have a new Mission.

Day 1: A New Beginning

As with. All beginnings, the new beginning is me filed with excitement and joy. As I reel from the events of last night, I look upon today as a chance to begin again and make some changes to myself. This year, is the year of working out. Te year of finally getting a grip on some workout scheme so that I will be prepared to join the world of productive adults feeling good about myself, about my body, and about the perception I give to others.

So today, I start the long hike towards my workout mountain and I make a commitment to you, y blog community, to detail these trials in such mundane detail that you will be turned off from reading here. And alas, I make this commitment to spice up my life and see what it Is like.

With grand romantic visions of a blogging journey like that of From Julie To Julia, I get ready to make some self realizations and struggle to put those into words.

Here are some predictions or the time ahead.

If successful, you will hear me say things like. "Wow, I have so much more energy" and "gosh, nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Both are true statements that I hope I get to share.

Also, I predict you will hear a lot of, "ugh, this is so much harder than I thought it ez." Or "Ah, I just don't have time to continually work out."

And yet, I am highly motivated to keep this goal; not only for the tangible rewards it is sure to bring (a new iPad mini), but also because of the wellness and emotional heights that I will surely reach.

My biggest worry is that talk is cheap. Regardless, you will find out just how cheap I am through this process.

Now, while I can't work out just now—still at my New Years Location—I anticipate a bit of Rodney Yee Yoga later this evening that I am sure I will fail to accomplish. I may also throw in some jumping jacks (probably 50), and maybe some push ups!

To all of you starting your New Year's resolutions, Good Luck!