Day F Me, I'm out.

F.

I suck.

Hard.

Like, really f'ing hard.

As you might well imagine, I did not successfully complete my goal, or even come close. Instead I petered out about 6 months after trying and have failed to move at all in the subsequent 5 months. It's amazing to me that I was even able to do it in the first place.

Getting fit and staying healthy is so f'ing hard. So effing hard.

So once again, I repeat, I suck. I come before you to express my frustration and my willingness to get up and try again but my new apartment sucks for working out and my new job makes exercise even harder, not to mention, the need to get my shit in order. So, all in all, let's figure something out to get my life back on track.

The end

- the fat man

Day 133-142: Woah a great adventure

Hey Y'all,

I apologize for being wildly disconnected. I had a bachelor's party followed by a serious of events. I have been working out like crazy though. In addition to keeping running and the yoga, I have been dancing it up till four in the morning as well as finding any and all opportunities to do anything physical, including but not limited to moving boxes, fighting, etc.

Anyway, its been a crazy week and I have not been near a computer all week, what with the fourth and all.

Anyway, I will begin being more active today!

Day 131: Hip Joint Down

I was proud of myself. Today, I almost managed to pull in the trifecta! I did running on schedule bright and early, I did some pushups (not the whole set, but today is a "rest" day), and I was just doing my yoga when zap! I felt something pull in my hip! Ugh, it hurts really bad. That's okay, I'm sure I just pulled something and just need to rest it a little.

I guess with all the exercise this could happen. Though, to be honest, it's not that much exercise and it is very manageable. In fact, I read a study in which fat men who engaged in moderate activity actually lost more weight than those who engaged in heavy activity. The reason was because the heavy-activity group were so exhausted after their intense workout that they would eat more (to compensate for calories) and they would not exercise the rest of the day. The moderate group on the other hand was not so exhausted from their workouts that they were more active throughout the rest of the day and did not feel the need to recover the calories!

So, in effect, by keeping my workouts complimentary and light, I should be helping myself to keep my eating routine balanced and to feel more active throughout the day! I like that yoga balances my running by stretching and the strength balances them both by helping me feel stronger. So, despite the pulled hip joint? I feel good. Good enough to keep going and good enough to never stop!

Cheers!

Day 130: Ho Strong!

After an initial setback where I could not get through my second rep in the hundred push-up challenge,  I waited and then took longer breaks between reps and managed to get through the whole set without a problem, that's 97 total push-ups!! 

So that was pretty exciting! Unrelatedly, I'm trying to routinize my morning by ensuring that I get to the gym on. So starting tomorrow I'm going to hit the gym first thing in the morning!

Day 129: no ho, yes yo

Note: I'm typing this on a mobile device and apparently the geniuses behind the blogger app included an "undo" button. Well I accidentally pressed it and it deleted the entire post I wrote so eloquently. This, you will now be forced to get my second take at a first post, complete with fewer asides and more graphic imagery. Here I go and f you blogger undo button. 

No hundred push-up challenge, yes yoga.

More discouraging than failing to squeeze in my push-ups is that I weighed myself today. But even worse than that, I looked at my fat club pictures, the first set I've looked at since the originals were taken two weeks ago. 

I know I was not expecting any heart-stopping changes, but I was not expected to see so many round,  cellulite-infested, bloated bags of fat. Gosh, looking at my partially nude grease-filled fat folds was enough to make me hurl. No wonder people have trouble looking at me. Gosh. I tried flipping back and forth between the images on my computer to see the microscopic changes and NOTHING! Not a single cellulite, pock-filled, lard-infused fold out of place. No recession to the drooping layers of fat. Just spare tired from head to toe.  I could equip a car.

And yet, rather than continue to focus on my glaring lack of any progress, I will instead turn my eyes forward towards the mythical land where obese people can become just overweight. Where those who don't know me as a morbidly obese fat man will come to see me as a guy who could stand to lose a few, without knowing that losing a few is all I have been doing for months.  I choose to dream of the time when my thighs will not rub together on every fricken step, or when my fat fingers will not accidentally hit the undo button when I mean to get the space bar, I dream of a time when I too will be able to wear just a button down shirt to work and not feel so self-conscious that I hide in my suit jacket despite the sweltering heat of summer. 

This day will come. It may not be soon, but, oh, is it on the horizon. I just cannot wait until I am basking in the glow of a just modestly overweight man. When my pants are not so large that two normal size adults could use them as a tent to wait out another tropical storm. This day will come and I will be waiting. 

Day 128: Weekend Reset

I love the weekends because they give me a chance to reset and rest.

I don't do my cardio on the weekends, so it all comes down to beautiful yoga. I've been toying with the idea of letting my muscles rest from the 100 pushup challenge. My only hesitation is that the last time I did that, I seemed to lose strength the next time I tried to do some more pushups.

Thus far, I have not done my pushups today, but I think I will do them tomorrow to make sure that I don't atrophy down to nothing.

All in all, having more exercise routines each week, helps me make the weekends feel really light. Instead of before where I was doing yoga everyday and then the weekends I struggled to do my yoga because I felt like I wanted to take a rest, now I am doing yoga, elliptical, and pushups, so when I do just the yoga it does feel like a rest.

That's nice.

Day 127: Keepin' On

At this point, it's time to keep on keeping on.

I've been locked for the better part of 3 weeks in an ongoing campaign to better myself. And yet, I find that only 3 weeks in I'm struggling to stay motivated. At this point, I know I want to keep going so that I can start to see some tangible changes in my body type. I've heard that you don't start to "see" any real changes until 6 weeks, which means that I'm about halfway to where I need to be!

With that in mind I know I need to just keep doing all of my activity and my body will begin to recognize that this is the proper course for where it needs to go!

The good news is that all that week 3, day 2 work might have paid off. I just finished my week 3, day 3 set and I was able to do it. Of course, over the weekend I will be repeating it, but so far I managed to be able to get it going! 

Day 126: A Further Struggle

Thursday

Thursday was pretty good. I had a bunch of errands to run early on in the day so I got my workout done early. Even so, I'm still surprised that I can't really do more than 20 minutes without issue.

Not having much more luck with it than yesterday. I can say that I like using Yoga as a way to stretch out and make sure that I am actively moving everything around.

As for the pushup challenge. I am still stuck firmly in week 2. I finally got to the point where I can do week 3, day 2 without much issue. But now Week 3, Day 3 is staring me down and it is another major jump!

I am going to try keep pace with everything, but it's proving more and more difficult!

Oh, well I'll keep trying!

Day 125: The Struggle

With all of my exercises, I seem to focus as much, if not more, on the pain and struggle of the exercises, but I think that is because they always seem to be hard. If exercise were so easy, everyone would do it.

It's not that it's hard per se, it's just that it sucks.

Anyway, as you know, I've been using the elliptical at the gym as my first "real" form of cardio exercise in over a year. It's been going well except I find that I can't really do more than 20 minutes on it. That's just sad. I know I'm fat and that's definitely a factor, but my energy levels just seem so low.

The one time it was not a problem was when I went right after lunch. I noticed I had much more energy and was able to do 30 minutes without problem. Even as it is, I find myself doing anything I can to help me distract myself from the pain of the activity - usually by watching a half-hour episode of something on Netflix.

Anyway, it sucks. I need to look into a good workout routine for making the elliptical worthwhile.

Day 124: Where does the time go?

Can you believe that it's almost 20 days since I renewed my pledge and caught up?

It's hard for me to believe that time flies so quickly when I'm doing things that are difficult. I also don't know where the time goes in each and every day. I feel like I never have time to get the things I need to get done, done.


But that's okay!

More tomorrow!

Day 123: Damn its hard

I'm seriously struggling with week three of the yoga challenge. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to do it in just 6 weeks. It is clear that I will need to keep pushing forward, but this is a problem. I'm not recovering as quickly as I was during the first week. I'm struggling not just with the last in the series of reps in the set, but often with the last 3.  It's like my arms just won't do it.


With that said, I've really enjoyed seeing myself grow stronger. While I have not made any tremendous gains yet, I know with perseverance and dedication, I will be able to get to that point and I'm not going to give up!

So here's to getting stronger!

Day 122: Mixing It Up

Saturday I decided to mix it up. I got up and went for a long walk in a nice hilly area. Later in the day I started week 3 of the hundred pushup challenge, and topped it off with a half of yoga session.

All in all, it was nice to get a chance to mix it up and try something new. To do something new.

Like the elliptical I do during the week, it feels good to try new exercises, you know shock the body up!

Day 121: Ups ide Down

Running today went great. I'm embarrassed to say that there is nothing worse than doing 20 minutes on the eliptical and just wishing it would stop! Today, however, I was rocking, I got to 20 minutes and then ramped up my pace, basically sprinting for the next 7 minutes!

The worst part about the gym, though, is all the fit people. There should be a gym for fat people where they won't be judged. And yes, there is Planet Fitness with its claim that this is the judge-free zone, but come on. There is no such thing. Any time a fit person sees a fat person they die inside a little bit.

Well, the gym I've been frequenting for my new cardio routine has a tremendous number of fit people. The worst kind of fit people are high schoolers or post high-schoolers. They have these highly sculpted bodies and are like, "yeah, I play sports, and I do things that others can only dream about" And they look at you like, "ew, like, if I were you, I'd just die." I just want to tell them, wait a few years sweetheart, just wait until everything in your life is going poorly and look at your body and see if it is still in shape!

It might be. Some people have incredible control and keep their bodies in shape their whole lives. But for the rest of us, just screw you stupid high school jocks! There I said it. And not for the first time. The truth is, once you've been fat it is biologically easier for your body to gain the weight back. We are at a metabolic disadvantage to people who've never gained a lot of weight!

Regardless, I had some downs today as well. I am struggling with this third week of the push up challenge. My task today was to do 12, 17, 13, 13, 17. Wow, I got through 12 and 17 fine. But on the first 13, I was wiped! Then by the second 13, I only made it to 12 before my arms collapsed. I didn't even get near doing 17! Ohmegerhd. So, I waited all day and then attempted it again. I made sure to do slightly more shallow pushups and got all the way through the last 13, before I hit some real problems. By 17, I was taking each pushup one at a time.

I just hope I can keep up this pace. I might have to do week three for a few weeks to ensure that I can build enough muscle mass to keep going. I mean, c'mon, I'm a huge guy. The fact that I can do ANY pushups is amazing. The fact that I couldn't do 72 today does not seem like that much of a surprise. I would like it if I could manage to get a few more done, but I do understand.

I'll report in tomorrow and tell you how the repeat of the set goes. Right now I can barely lift my arms. Haha. Who knew.

Day 120: Fuel

I've written a host of information about the workouts I've been doing but I have neglected one of the most important parts about losing weight. Specifically what I've been eating.

What I've learned on this journey from fatter to fat before is that you really can't have one without the other. Working out alone, is not enough. (Yes, I see the irony in that I have a workout goal but not an eating goal). The point of this blog has never been about losing weight. It has only been about being more active and getting a chance to see if exercising on a daily basis can help me manage being fat.

Good news. So far it has. But eating right is important too. It ensures that you are actually losing weight. Obviously, the formula that every heavy person knows is as long as calories burned are greater than calories consumed, you will lose weight. While that is true, it's not the way to feel good while losing weight or how to fight many of the urges that keep us fat.

Look, I'm no expert, but I have listened to a lot of people who are and they all say the same things. What you eat is just as important if not more important that how much. Obviously, you can't be stuffing your face with every single thing, but what you eat can put your body into a homeostasis that will help you control your energy, mood, cravings, and more.

Suffice it to say, I have been revamping my diet this summer. Making sure that I eat a lot more green, fruits, and staying away from processed wheats and sugars. It's not just about cutting out the cookies and sweets, its about cutting out the foods that mimic those processed sweets in your bodies. The way I've been finding to do it is to focus on eliminating traditional carbs and focus on lean protein and vegetables.

Surprisingly, it's really helped me to feel good. I'm nowhere near a normal fat person yet, but I'm not feeling bloated or overly large either!

To eating right and feeling good.

Day 119: Half a Realization

Last night while I was doing my yoga, I realized that technically speaking, in order to fulfill the terms of my goals, I only need to do a workout a day. I don't need to do two. So, if I need to take a day off from yoga every now and again, I can do so.

One of the lessons I took away from the first hundred days of this challenge, was that I can improve my overall flexibility and power for yoga if I rest every so often. This same rule holds true for running. I can run five days a week, and make up for it with yoga.

Now, obviously the biggest benefits will come from doing yoga along side the running, but it is nice to know that I can take a break without ruining my goal.

This is even better now that I only have 1 spare day left!

Day 118: Rocking Week 2

100 Pushup Challenge meet the END of week 2. Say what. Now each set is up to 61 pushups at a time. That's awesome. I'm still struggling to get through the sets, but it's always encouraging to see that I'm stronger than I was just two days ago. And even more than that, I am hopeful and confident that I will keep getting stronger.

I also like incorporating my cardio into my exercise routine. It doesn't feel like anything. It sucks for the 25–30 minutes that I'm doing it, but then I just don't think about it again. I shower and its over. It's not until my yoga that night that I think about it again. I can really feel it in my hamstrings.

Let me pause for a second. It is so weird that I'm using phrases like my hamstrings. "Well, I was shockin' my pecs for a 10-spot and got my delts all fired up" Who am I? I'm not saying I'm becoming a meat head. I'm just noting the gradual changes of incorporating exercise into my daily routine. Just simeple changes that are, hopefully, helping me be better.

Time in.

While doing my yoga, I can feel the lactic acid buildup and it feels good to have an rena to let it go. Just to ease out the tension.

All right, I'm pleased that I have yet to miss a day. I'm pleased that I have been going strong and will continue to go strong all summer!

Day 117: Exercise Galore

All right, today was day 1 of adding another element to my fitness routine. I'm sure if someone who knows a lot about fitness saw my goals and then saw my implementation for the first 117 days I have been exercising this year, they would laugh at me. I know I need a cardio portion to my workout routine, but it's just that cardio is so HARD.

Not only that its tiring and messy and it takes time! Regardless, I'm going to try to implement 25–30 minutes a day of cardio on top of my 100 Pushup Challenge and Yoga activities.


Today I spread them out. I did cardio before 8, pushups in the middle of the day, and yoga at night. This was a semi-efficient system, but I will work on how best to incorporate the exercises.

The good news: I'm still in the running to complete my goals!

Day 116: Easy Groove

I have not attempted my strength exercise yet, but I can say that the yoga today was smooth and refreshing. Despite not getting much sleep and consequently being very tired today, I can say definitively that today's workout ran much more smoothly. I worked hard and was more exhausted at each point, but that was because I was focusing intently on each pose and was able to move gracefully from pose to pose.

I am excited to start incorporating the elliptical into my daily routine. I know that I need to lose weight and I know that I need to do it soon. I have a major life event coming up in August and I'd like to look better than I do.

But, as you're no doubt sick of hearing, there are tremendous benefits to losing weight. In fact, losing just 5-10% of you current body weight (if you are significantly overweight or obese) can:

• Increase energy
• Restore confidence
• Increase labido and testosterone development
• Take you out of the pre-diabetes category and move you away from developing diabetes
• As well as the more obvious clothes fitting and mood elevation

They say that adominal fat (for men) is extremely unhealthy and even modest decreases in size of the belly fat can produce tremendous positive health effects.

For this reason, I'm going all in. I'm giving it my best and then some.

Here's to a better me!

Day 115: Strength!

This is not my first time being a fat man and putting myself through trials. In fact, weight loss, and sustained weight loss at that, is a journey.

Well wind the clocks back to 2009 and I set out and joined the Fat Club (the first rule of fat club is you shall not talk about fat club), well it disbanded and so I feel okay about it. Anyway, I lost 30 lbs in fat club. Today I was looking at the photos and in a three month period, I literally transformed. The most apparent thing to me was the size of my triceps. My arms got skinnier and skinnier over the photos, but my triceps actually looked real!

I realize now that it was because of the 100 Pushup Challenge. That was the one point in my life, where I was able to do 50 pushups at once. But more than that, I was doing them on a consistent basis and so my triceps were huge!

It was really motivating to look at those photos. At the same time, when I compared them against pictures I took today (I'm starting fat club 2), I was much thinner than I could ever hope to be. I did read that when you lose a massive amount of weight, your body goes into a mode where it wants to get you back to your normal (which at this point is a fatass). So it actually makes you crave bad foods and slows down your metabolism! Your body is fighting against you. That's part of the reason why it is not uncommon for those who've lose weight to gain it all back and THEN SOME.

My goal, however, is to hit a lower weight and keep myself at it for a year or two. I figure if I can do that, then I can help reset my body's internal sense of what the proper weight is and get myself back into a normal body size.

We all deserve it. I will keep fighting.

In fact, last night I struggled to complete my last reps of my pushups. So I got up, took a break and finished them. Then this morning I got up and did the whole set, without a problem! It's amazing how fast you can see muscle growth.

Here's to strength and changes!

Day 114: Winded but Trying

So, I guess starting back up has finally caught back up with me.

The first couple of days were fine. I would do the yoga and no big deal. Today, I felt "winded" for the first time. Which is weird, because Yoga is not a particularly strenuous activity. I suppose I just need to get used to it again. It will get easier.

Anyway, today is the last weekday that I have before I begin picking up my exercise routine. In order to get in shape for the end of the summer, I've decided I need to start doing some real cardio activities. In line with this, I've decided to attend a gym. Starting on Monday, I am going to be using an elliptical for 20 minutes a day. I will attempt to add that to my routine of yoga and 100 pushups.

It's time to make some changes!

Here's to change.

Day 113: The Darkness creeps and I fall

It's amazing. During the daytime, when I manage to squeeze in yoga, I'm clear and balanced. As soon as I attempt to do Yoga without lights, boom! I fall. I have absolutely no darkness balance. It's like a switch is flipped in my head and I can't balance anymore. In particular, there is the tree pose. It's very simply. You take one foot, hook it into your other leg and stand there. And yet, without fail, whenever the lights are off, I'm like a tree in a tornado, right on over.

Anyway, I did day 3, when combined with the 100 Pushup challenge, I really feel the strain its putting on my arm muscles. My chest and back are fine, but my triceps struggle when I get down into pushup pose.

I'll just have to keep pushing forward!

All right, on to more work!

Enjoy the evening!

Day 112: Easy as Yoga

I'm pretty pleased that my body did not just give up on me. The yoga has not been that taxing despite taking two weeks off. In fact, my body remembers all the moves and I find myself easing back into them. Of course, my flexibility has gone to pot and I'm still worried about my lower back. Everytime I bend over to do a forward bend, I worry that I might injure it more or that I've done some permanent damage. Despite that, yoga makes me feel amazing, so I'm going to keep pushing through.

Another update, I'm on day three of the hundred pushup challenge. I am reluctant to admit that I can now do 12 pushups in a row! Haha, the way the system works is to make you do a series of pushups in smaller increments. So, my max was 12, but in reality in the one session (day 3 for example) I did 44 pushups overall. So, it pushes you forward and helps build your strength by making you do more and more pushups per set, but also by increasing the number of reps in each individual set. Next week, I'll build up to doing 50 pushups in one set. Then eventually you build up the 100 in the set, while doing more reps (25–50) per set. Then, and I've never made it this far, some magic happens and you can just do 100 pushups in one sitting.

I'd be more than happy if I can do 50 pushups in one sitting. My goal is to be able to do 50 pushups when I wake up and when I go to bed. This way I can start and finish the day with some strength exercises.

All right, off to fight the good fight.

Day 111: On track and not willing to fail

Being reluctant to fail, I pledge to keep going! I pledge to fight until the bitter end. For Fat Men everywhere, for all the fat people, in all the fast food joints, in all the world... I will meet my goal!

Day 111 is a go. As I alluded to in my last post, I did a rousing round of Rodney Yee yoga to get me on track!

It's amazing, while I'm definitely fatter and could not bend down quite as far, my body still knew exactly what it needed to do to do the yoga routine!

It did not miss a beat, or forget a pose!

So thank you Rodney Yee for 110 days of pain!

Here's to 210 more! 

What I missed: hope?

Days 104–110

Total number of days to June 3: 154 days 

Total days I've missed:  44 days

Number of days I can miss an still meet my goal: 45

Spare days from now until January 1, 2014: ONE

Oh shit.

So, my fat ass had managed to get back on track just in time. I have one spare day from now until the end of the year. This means that no matter what happens, I will have to so yoga every single day or risk not meeting my goal.

Wow.

I knew meeting the goal would be hard but I figured the ability to miss 45 days would be more than enough to carry me through. Here we are, six months into this year and I've blown almost my whole quota. 

Challenge Accepted.

As any true procrastinator knows, it is the pressure situations, the times when there is no room for mistakes that motivates us to perform our best!

Moving forward , I know that I will have absolutely no leeway or room for failure!

So.

Here.

We.

Go! 

My apologies

Hello friends. I apologize for my delayed hiatus. I had to take a trip for work and I've been so swamped with work that I have neither worked out nor blogged about it. I have, however, done some workouts that I have not listed here. 

For the sake of preventing more terrible posts, I will list all of my missed days in one long post.

Moreover, I am making a firm commitment to get back in the game. After I tally up how much time I missed, I will be able to see just how close or far I  to completing my goal. In fact, I will be able to see if I can still make it. Regardless of the answer, I will continue pressing on for the rest of the year despite my half-month failure.

I figure it is better to get back on the horse and attempt to keep working at y issues, rather than to give up entirely.

I will say that I have started the one hundred push-up challenge to see if I can get back to the point where I can legitimately so 100 push-ups. Tomorrow will be day 3 of the program but supposedly in 6 weeks I will be able to do 100. While I am skeptical, my last experience with the program taught me that I can reasonably expect to get up to about 50 in about 2 months. The reason is that there are some weeks that you just cannot complete, so you need to go back and redo that entire week! 

I know most people like to work out in the winter to get a "beach" body by the summer, but since I've failed in that endeavor, I will push forward and start work now for a normal-size body.

Today was interesting because I finally did some yoga. It was amazing how much lactic acid buildup I had.

I could just feel the yoga helping to release the acid from all my "muscles" (read: flabby parts). 

Anyway, I'm back on track ad ready to see these goals through until the end of the year. And hey, if I get into shape while I'm at, so be it!

103: Barely Alive

Monday May 6

In this transition time with work, I've barely had time to get yoga in, but I've been burning the midnight oil to get it done.

It's weird. Every time I do yoga after dark, my balance becomes increasingly shaky.

Oh well.

Sunday Fail

Whoops, Yoga = not doing as much as I should

Day 102

Saturday May 5,

Half-session yoga day - very busy! Many happy congratulations to all. 

Day 101:

Friday, May 3rd:

Today was a big day, filled with seeing family and meeting different people. Despite the the busy schedule, I snuck in a quick yoga session!

Day 100!!!!

Thursday, May 2

What what!

I can't believe I've made it to 100 days! That's crazy. When I started this thing, I knew I would keep pushing myself, but even I am surprised that 100 days have come.

I have been pleased that I branched out from Power Yoga—Stamina to Yoga Burn, but I need to be doing more and I need to get control of my appetite. It is time to fit into smaller clothes. Summer is always the hardest time because the food is better (ice creams, drinks, etc.) and the clothes are much skimpier. People want to show off their amazing bodies. All I want to do is hide mine.

It's really a shame. If I were in better shape, I would feel comfortable meeting more people and I think I would be more fulfilled. I know that my weight should not be an obstacle to meeting others and doing great things, but, for me, it is!

I want to be in a place where I am comfortable sharing my body. Since I've started this thing, I dropped about 20 pounds, but then I gained a whole bunch and now I'm about 10-13 pounds down from where I started.

That's a good accomplishment and all, but when you have 100 pounds to lose, it is hard to celebrate it.

And yet, this is the 100th day I've stuck with something. That is HUGE! (bigger than me)

I am proud of myself and hopefully this will help reinvigorate me and help me move forward. 

Day 99: Fatty Muscles

May 1:

I can't believe I've finally made it to May! It's a miracle! I have been true to myself and while I have faltered here and there, this is still the most consistent amount of exercise that I have done over the course of my life. The only problem is that I have so much fat covering my muscles that it is difficult to get through.

Yoga has been great. While I have not met my other sub-goals, doing any number of days of swimming or anything of that sort, I am confident that I can knock some out this sumer.

I am still thankful that I have been consistently following my yoga routine and while I am still not in the best shape of my life, I am in better shape than I was before.

Day 98: Pain burns

Burning, dull, aching pain courses through my body as if I had sat on a cushion of pin needles.

Yoga burn is hard, but worst off, I'm not sure I'm doing it properly. It burns and makes me want to just do something that is safe.

If I'm going to be completely honest, part of the problem is probably from the somewhat large weight gain I have bee experiencing. I'm hooked back on sugar and that snowballs so that I am eating much larger quantities at more numerous times of the day.

I just saw a picture of myself and it was frankly embarrassing. I wanted to cry.


Back to the drawing board. 

Day 97: not quite yet. I haven't scaled up but I'm ready

I need another break to get back into form. I have a very big and stressful work day and need to take a break. I'm going to switch to a different yoga come Tuesday!

Day 96: down to one

I decided to scale it back and just so one. My back still hurts, but not quite as much! I have to get ready for summer, so I. Going to scale back up! Summer's almost here, so it's time to gear up! Maybe some running? Although, we all know how that went!

Day 95: the march continues

Ever since doing the two a days, my lower back has been really not happy. I feel like I can't keep up this pace, even as it is the slowest, saddest pace. I think pushing all the fat around was definitely hard on my back. My biggest worry is that I will be screwing up my back for life, which is not the smartest move! Regardless, I'm going to keep pushing through!

Day 94: A night of new

I have two new developments to share.

First, I'm trying 2 sessions of yoga a day. No solely to make up for days (I'm still only counting them as I session), but also to push myself. It's not like I'm going to do the longer/harder yoga, and that being the case, I might as well continue to work on the doing 2 of the easy sessions. The thing about yoga is that it seems strenuous when I'm doing it but you feel refreshed lat. so, why not take advantage of that.

Second, I was watching this Louis C.K. Bit where he talks about one of the downsides of aging. He says that the worst part of his day is when he has to put on his socks. He can't touch his toes normally and he has his beer gut surrounding him. He says it feels like when he tries to do that he is pushes his fat into his vital organs which start screaming out for release! I feel very similar when doing the kneeling and lying bow pose. I've talked about this before, but it is new that I think it's starting to "loosen up" the fat. It feels like the fat is more easily moved around and damn is it uncomfortable.

So, I get to the end of my routine and just lie on my back ready to do some meditation. But this time, it feels like I'm laying on one of those donuts they throw overboard of ships to help the drowning person. It's like my fat is literally balling up on the sides of my body pushing to give me a form of cushion. I'm thinking' "this can't be a good thing." Have I disrupted the fat.? You should never disrupt the fat!!

The one "nice" thing about being fat is that you don't really feel as fat as you are. For whatever reason, Thea body and mind simply can't accept that you're a giant lard ass, so when you look in the mirror you see a moderately overweight person, not the walking blimp that you actually ar. In fact, part of the way your body compensates is it doesn't really let you feel your own fat—except when you try to bend over and it all bunches together.

You don't feel that back flab making a verifiable spare tire. You don't feel those love handles and that's a problem! If you walked around all day feeling this fat hanging off of your body, you'd be more motivated to do something about it. But as it stands now, there is no incentive.

All of at is a long way of saying, maybe this movable fat bubble that I'm feeling is actually a wake up call. Maybe it's my body's way of saying, all right, it is time! Time to shed this bubble, those extra pounds and start living your life.

Because the way I'm living now is barely living at all. I'm not saying I want to be a super model, but I would like to have the confidence to go back outside and feel like I look good. I want to get a swagger back in my step. Most importantly, I want to feel like people are looking at me with approval. So as I go out these next few weeks, I'm going to try to remember my spare it and work towards having it popped!

Day 93:

I was at work until 2:30 am on Monday so I did not do it, but I did it twice today, so,hopefully that helps to make up for it!

Day 92: Sunday fun day

I did it today.

Day 91: playing catchup

On Friday, I did not do yoga. I just got caught up in my day, I was tired and just didn't do it. But I got right back on the horse on Saturday for day 91.

Day 90: less pizza, still fat

Believe it or not, I'm still fat. I've been eating less pizza, but am nowhere near where I need or want to be. I continued with my yoga efforts today. I got out of the hous and even went out for a change. It was nice but my whole identity is completely wrapped up in my body image. It's not healthy.

On another note, I can't believe I've done 90 days of yoga it's crazy!

Day 89: Revelations

I fully attribute my mood shift to weight gain and poor eating habits.

As I mentioned, I've been eating a ton of pizza—usually about one full pizza during lunch. I can definitely say that after just three days of this procedure, I feel like shit!

They say you are what you eat, and I feel like a big, bread-y, dough-y cheese-covered fatman.

Damn. That was probably not the best decision.

And I've been chugging 4-6 diet cokes in a 3 hour period. I'm wired but my chest hurts, I go through serious lulls in energy, and I'm pessimistic.

I've always heard that eating a mass of processed food can negatively affect one's attitude, but I've never taken the time to really think it through. I think, for the first time, I’m seeing the effects and seeing them quickly.

I'm more sluggish, fatter, and suffering from sever ennui.

All right, I'm going to go do my yoga for the day and then get back to work!

Maybe I can turn it around again. Drop the poundage I've put on in the last week and get back into fighting form.

Feel free to share your stories of failure and your frustrations as well.

Day 88: Chugging Caffein

So, I've been making some poor decisions all week. While I have still been doing my yoga daily (right before bed), I have not done any other form of activity and I have been eating terribly.

I've been getting a ton of free food from work—mostly pizza—and I've been absolutely stuffing my face. At first it was great to get some food. And now, it's just like, ugh, enough is enough fatty. Stop eating 7-8 slices at lunch.

No wonder you feel like a brick house (and not in a good way).

ugh!

Day 87: Week Strong - Will Weak

So, I started the week. I've been putting off my yoga until right before bed. So far that has been a fairly good strategy as I have been able to get it done. And yet, I don't get the rich benefits of being stretched out for the day. I'd say it is a direct contributor of my making bad decisions during the week and my generally poor mood.

I apologize to myself mostly. This is a whiny and terrible place to put my thoughts.

If you have expected anything from this blog, it was some kind of motivation and what you've received is a whining fat man. I'll try to make it up to you!

Day 86: Still Going Weak

Well, I’m certainly on a roll, but I don't feel any stronger, in fact, if possible, I feel more inadequate and weaker.

It's true what they say, you are what you eat.

Day 85: Getting in Touch

I really feel like I need to get in touch with my inner warrior. The problem is that I just don't feel like I have that in me. I just don't have an inner warrior. But in order to make the most of each day and ensure that I get everything I need to get done, I need to find my inner fight. My inner resilliance. Otherwise, I will just be surviving. And we can't do that. We need to thrive!

Thriving for life!

Day 84: Streak noting

I'm just noting that it's been 3 days. But frankly that's just embarrassing. It should already be a month non-stop yoga. And even so, I keep pushing it back.

No one to blame but blame itself.

Day 83: Yoga Again

I don't want to start getting all up in myself. I mean, if I started getting all excited every time I did one measly day of yoga, I would be myself earlier in this blog. But I am playing this one pessimistically. I completed the yoga two days in a row and that's good, but there is no pressure. I'd like to continue this trend and work towards being better, but that is not required.

I hate the fact that I've been gaining weight, but I have no one to blame but myself.

Until tomorrow

Day 82: Well I did it

Yoga for all

Day 81: half is better than nothing

Don't eat a giant dinner and then try yoga. Fully belly equals lame attempt. MA's tomorrow!

Day 81: karma

She's a bitch.

It seems like whenever I have a post that says I'm refocused I go and fail miserably. I have a weekend of misses. I miss three days in a row and get back into swing of it on Monday!

Like all fat people's ever, I'm sorry I suck. I will try to get better. Just let me finish this donut!

Day 80: refocused

Right before bed seems to be the best time because I'm ready, wiling, and able. Two subway sandwiches sure didn't hurt either! To a better week!! Day 80 is a big deal.



80/93 is not too shabby! Lets keep not missing days!

Day 79: Über lame

When you do it and get tired at the laying down part, you know you're screwed for the day! I was ravenous today and so yoga was done on a belly of Chinese foods and angst!

Day 78: yoga is not video games

Yoga is not the games that we play. It is not a stimulating mix of games that I play. It does not keep my attention and it most definitely takes a back seat to I Love You, Man. And yet, I still did it but it was sloppy and fat. Just like me.

Day 77: Half Yoga

Ugh never attempt yoga on the fullest stomach possible! It is very difficult. 'Nuff said.

Day 76: Not even a registered miss

I did not realize, even a little, that I missed. My body seemed like a well-oiled machine when doing my yoga. With that said, I know I need to be doing better in the future. I will not miss a day this week! That is my vow!

Inadvertant Miss

I just got so caught up in being social that I forgot, completely to yoga. It was not a choice really, it just happened.

With that said, I did it Saturday, so that should, in a way, make up for it!

Day 75: Late But Not Least

I was watching the game and so didn't get a chance to get my workout in until about 12. With that said, I still count it for Thursday because I did not yet go to sleep. I will say it kicked my ass and I'm feeling some crazy light-headedness, mainly because I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

I will update this tomorrow with something worthy of your attention.

Day 74: snuck a peak

I did it today but right at the wire! I had to lose sleep to get it done but hopefully it was worth it. More on this tomorrow!

Update:

Obesity sucks. I checked the scale this morning and learned I gained 10 pounds! In one week! What the heck? I know I made some bad decisions but not this bad. 2 medium 2 topping dominos pizzas should not do this but they did.

I recently learned that obesity is a disease! Which sounds stupid. I'm not suffering—other than from an inability to stop eating, move quickly, or look like a normal person. And yet, that seems to make sense! I can't express just how frustrated I am that I've gained so much weight in such a short time, especially when it's taken me so long to lose the weight in the first place!

Day 73: Seriously Seeking Sustainability

For real, today I hit this like I was serious. I clenched every muscle the whole time and I was like, nah - you ain't got nothing on me. And at the same time, I was like, hit this, man, you gotta hit this. And I did. I hit it hard. Which is why, at the end of the day, I am proud that while today marks 4 of 4, it also marks the first day where I took this seriously.

I'm tired of being fat. I've been tired of it for the last 12 years and that has not stopped me. But the last time I made serious weight loss a priority, I used some pictures of me as a motivator. Yesterday, I saw some pictures of me and they sure as hell motivated, except it was a video. Seeing my rolls of fat roll in the daylight was like seeing a bartender up close in the day light. It's usually seriously scary! 

Without being overly clichéd, it was straight up like this:

It was beyond embarrassing. Especially because I started to think about having to share that all day every day with every single person. They are subjected to my body every day. And while they don't have to stare at it, they also probably don't appreciate seeing it. I mean, its nice to look at people who areattractive. We often actively avoid the people who are not. It's actually kind of funny; I'm the worst critic of everyone else. In fact, when I see an obese person hanging around I judge them hard. But now, I worry that I'm the obese person and why wouldn't everyone judge me. So, I need to do something about this.

I know that being comfortable in your own body is part of being happy and content and yet, why not strive to be the most attractive person that i can be. Why not get and stay in great shape. So that I can live my life unburdened. 

Well day four of my recommitment is going strong and I hope to be able to continue working hard.

Day 72: Eating the Hole Pie

I am disappointed to report that I made another bad life decision today. I wanted to fill the hole I felt in my stomach. No, I did not write hole when I meant whole, I am referring to eating a whole pizza, but one that only covers up the hole in my heart and soul. I am a flawed individual and I decided I wanted to know what it was like to be full. I blame this solely on advertising from watching too much College basketball.

Advertisers, your ads are working—I'm getting hungry and for the cheap, nasty, and processed junk you produce. To that end, I ordered Domino's 2 medium 2-topping pizzas for myself today and proceeded to eat both of them! It was so much food that I had to lie over on my side (like Jabba the Hut) just to be able to accomodate the food source. It was a disgusting display. By the end all the salt and spices made it taste terrible. I was disgusted with myself, I felt like crap, and I have to say it was NOT worth it!

So, I made a bad decision. Luckily, I also did my yoga so that it was not a total loss. Also, I realized that I have not been adequately bearing my soul here in this forum. But I promise to do more of that in the coming weeks.

I start being stronger. I recommitted 3 days ago and I will continue to commit. Especially, because I was forced to see a video recording of myself for work today and I DID NOT like what I saw. Speaking of Jabba the Hut, wow am I fat. Like every fat person ever, I really thought i was hiding it with a nice baggy shirt and loose clothing, but DAMN! You fat. I fat.

So, I am going to again push hard. No more bad pizza-related mistakes, no more agonizing over doing my yoga, I will do it and I will do it right so I break a sweat. I will push through this, lose weight, feel better about myself and make it to may!

I am will be in the best shape of the last two years by may!

Here I come, world!

Day 71: I did it

Day 2 of the refocus was predictably slow but it happened. Most importantly, I'm establishing a rhythm and building my fitness levels back up. It's amazing to me that after such a short time of making bad decisions and not doing it to my best levels that my form can be so compromised. Regardless, I look forward to continuing to push forward and get better.

To another day, another productive week!

Happy Fitness trails to you!

Day 70: Struggling but moving

Okay, first day of my refocus session and I was up an at the yoga right away. My wrist is still not 100% so pushups and downward facing dog is difficult. Regardless, I pushed through and managed to my first full, and good yoga session in. But, to be honest, I was tired, winded, and struggled.

Either way, I'm happy that I'm back on track towards getting fit for May!

I only have a month and a half, but I want to make sure that I am ready to keep pushing forward!

Okay, back to work, but maybe I'll get in a second workout today!

Good luck to you in refocusing if that's something you needed.

Day 69: One more try

Okay, I'm really refocusing today. I am a little upset that I'm only at Day 69, because it means that I have not done a good job of getting it together.

Of the 81 days that have past, I have only accomplished 69 days - thus I have already missed 12 days. This is not terrible, considering for my movement goal I've made. I only have to do 320 days of the year. Meaning that I can miss a full 45. I still have quite a ways to go to hit that, but I also want to make sure that I have not missed too many too early. We're only 81 days into this ting.

With that said, I want to refocus. I have missed far too many days, an average of one per week. Thus, for the next month, I don't want to miss a SINGLE day. So from today until April 22, I will not miss another day!

The yoga I did today was a pathetic display. It was done in about 12 minutes because I was late for a date, but I am sure that I can pull it back in and get my self in gear.

It's time to refocus, reformat, and recommit!

I hope you're goals are going well too. What struggles have you had? Have you found you've had big periods of failure?

Let me know!

By try again tomorrow, I mean fail again tomorrow.

So, yeah, that did not happen. Instead it was fail for two days.

Ugh, I suck.

Day 68: If I do better I might be able to hold on.

Wed. Mary 20.

I'm embarrassed to say that I have not done yoga for the last two days. I hurt my wrist last week and have been reluctant to put too much pressure on my wrist since then. But even with that excuse, I have just been making destructive decisions and have not been motivated to improve myself. Thus, despite the relatively easy schedule, I have not done yoga.

With that said, I cranked one out today. But it was lazy. Lazy with poor form.

I will try again tomorrow.

Day 67: Coming off of a missed day.

My goal has always been to make sure that I don't miss more than one day a week. Over the last week or so, I missed a number of days in a row because I was constantly traveling. Unfortunately, I fear that I have once again missed a day. I just don't have the motivation. I have been constantly moving and not enough resting, so I took yesterday (Saturday the 16th) off to rest. When coming back today, I was impressed that yoga was again harder than I had anticipated, I got my heart rate up and started to sweat earlier than I had been doing.

Even though it wasn't the best, I hope that I can start incorporating more action into my overall movements. In effect, I hope that I will be able to add something else to my yoga, like a cardio routine!

Note to readers

Hello my friends.

I am so sorry that I have been absent as of late. As you now know, if you've been following my posts, I have had a life-changing event and consequently, I have been less than productive as of late. To make up for my wins in life, I stopped doing what I need to be doing. I began eating more and moving less. I took a number of days off and it has been bad. I will go back now and follow through with all of my posts, but I fear that I may have already missed my goal of posting for 340 days out of the year. However, even with that said, I will continue to strive towards it, because it is a mindset that I am moving towards.

In essence, I want to apologize for checking out for the lsat week or so. I was celebrating and have been doing some destructive activities which have made me lazier and consequently moved me father from my goals. But now I am refocusing, recommitting, and have set some new short-term goals to keep me motivated towards achieving this long-term goal. Namely, I want to be in the fittest shape possible by May 14th. I am taking a trip abroad to celebrate my life events and want to ensure that I am in peek physical condition.

Despite being unrealistic, I will aim to miss less than 3 days in the 2 months. I will try to work tirelessly so that I can accomplish my goals and really feel good about the progress that I will make!

So, please accept my apology for not updated and falling behind. Although I have stumbled, I will not fail, I will push forward with the confidence to become better, stronger, and more well rounded!

Thank you for bearing with me!

Day 66: Celebration Yoga

I'm still celebrating and am so proud of myself for having gotten this yoga out of the way. I put my mind to something and everything began to fall into place. I can't say much about the yoga in particular other than I started to do it much quicker and consequently lazier. I know I have to pick up the pace if I want to meet my overall goals for the year. 

Day 65: the big day

This is it. The day I've been working towards for months. Now that it is here, I'm not as pleased with my progress as j would like. I still feel excessively large and cannot wait until I've shed even more pounds! Either way, today is here and in just a few hours, my life may be drastically different!

Edit: It is and was.  I did it, my life is drastically different for the better. I managed to do my yoga and it felt great, even better because of the life-changing events of the day!

Day 64: Free For All

Yeah I did it. I was able to push through and I'm now on a three day run! Having successfully mastered the yoga. I noticed that because my appetite had been different lately, it has negatively affected my yoga prowess!

Regardless, I'm rockin' the suburbs and its going well! I'll keep moving forward!

Day 63: Tuesday Surprise

Another goal bites the dust.

Not only did I get a yoga session in but I managed to complete a long-term goal. I got a new job yesterday which was why this week was so exciting. In fact, this was just one of the major hopes I had for this week. As I continue to prepare for this exciting vacation week, I will try to continue to do my yoga so that I am mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for everything that is happening!

Day 62: Monday Madness

Monday marked the first day of my vacation and I spent it driving back to the east coast. 14 hours later I arrived. I was still severely sleep deprived, and arrived over-caffeineited, but I still managed to sneak in a yoga session to make sure I would not be dropping the ball again, any time soon.

Suffice it to say, that this is too big of a week to be off my game.

Sunday Fail

Sunday was the last day of the competition, and so I woke up with barely any sleep, competing in the semi-finals, advanced to the finals, and then we ended up losing in the finals. But getting just 7.3 hours of sleep for two days was wreaking havoc on my body and my motivation. Anyway, I got home and could have done yoga, but I was so tired I just passed out.


Sunday Fail.I like to think that Sunday was not in the same week as Friday, so despite having more days than usual last week, I plan to get back into the flow for thenext week. It's necessary because next week is the big week I've been talking about. Next week is when everything happens!

Day 61: Saturday Miracle

I still had no time on Saturday, but managed to sneak away from my team-mates, and have the hotel to myself for a good 20 minutes.

While there, I managed to power through a quick yoga session, raise my heart rate, and rack a win for the weekend. I would have been upset if I went more than two days in a row without doing it, so I'm glad I was able to get the yoga done!

Friday Fail

I celebrated completing my yoga goal, by heading to a competition out of town. This meant that I had absolutely no time to do yoga. Which is a shame because it was the day after finally completing my goal.

Regardless, I was moving constantly throughout the day as I entered the difficult challenge of competing against my peers.

Oh, well.

Day 60: Celebrate Good Times C'Mon

So, it's been a helluva week, I know I mentioned that I was trying to be so consistent for the period in March, that period is here and so I have been constantly fighting towards this goal. That all started on Thursday!

Day 60 arrived and I was successful. I woke up at 6, did my yoga, and then went for a really important day! I made it to the office, had a practical evaluation, which I aced, and then onto preparing for my other obligations!

It was nice to get into a sort of rythym but I feel like because I have been so unbelievably busy, I have not done quite as much blogging as I would have liked, so I am making up for it now!

Onto the next round of goals!

Day 59: Poetic Justice

The day after an off day is always good. My body's all like, "how come you no good at yoga no mo'?" And I'm like, "No good, watch this!" At which point my body just laughs.

It's cool. That was hard but good. I got some muscles involved, I moved some fatty roles around, I scared my neighbors looking through the window. And yet, if I had yoga yesterday, tomorrow wouldn't have been as big of a day! Instead, tomorrow is. Not just because I have so many important events tomorrow, but also because tomorrow is Day 60. The official end of my yoga goal. What up Goal Completed? Wanna partay?

60 tomorrow here I come!

Yeah, we all saw this coming

So, yeah, I didn't get around to yoga yesterday.

I'm extremely sad, because yesterday I really meant to, and just didn't I failed to keep my streak going.

That's okay. That's why there is always a tomorrow!

Today then!

Day 58: Still going STrong

Haha. Take that Monday!

I will admit that my yoga was not as great as I hoped it would be, considering that I was extremely full when I decided to do yoga.

I don't know what it is, but I began craving bread products hard! This is a problem. It probably means that I ate something bread related and it is reasserting its dominance over my digestive options. This is particularly problematic considering that I tend to overeat when I eat bread related products.

Anyway, I was soo full when doing yoga that I almost lost it on the bow-pose. And yet, I did it again.

Take that Monday!

Day 57: In the longest time

I am content. I managed to ensure that I did my yoga every single day of this week, without missing a day, not even the weekend. I know that by the time I add that all up it will be a significant amount of time. It seems fairly clear that the impressive thing about any activity is that if you just do it consistently in small doses, you eventually get significant benefits.

I am proud that I made it through this entire week unscathed. I am concerned for next week because I will begin embarking on a journey of intense work and focus building up to the important part of March that I talked about previously. I have gotten to March and it is an important month.

And for once, instead of focusing on what I have yet to do, I will look forward and be proud of what I have accomplished thus far. I have made it to the end of a trying month and in just two weeks, my life could be radically different. This is both exciting and scary, but I know that at least I can get through a whole week of yoga without dying!

Day 56: Weekly Update

So, we made it through another week. Surprisingly, I am very close to reaching my goal of sixty days of yoga. Can you believe it?

For some reason, I thought I would be more excited to reach this place, but I am just sad that I have yet to see significant changes. I wanted to strong, flexible, and have significant stamina by this point. I'm embarrassed to say that as of now, all I have is a slightly more limber frame.

And yet, I feel like I've finally started moving in the direction of having an established exercise plan in place by the end of the decade. I'm not sure if I have clearly referenced this point for you, but it became clear that something I have been very keen to have is an established fitness regime. Knowing that I will never have enough time to work out or be motivated enough to go every day, I needed to find a way to keep moving every single day. Especially when I am tired, full, or sick.

Yoga is that solution. It is an activity I can do and it always makes me feel better. It provides peace of mind, strength of conviction, and the ability to commune with myself at least once a day.

So, as I start again on this next week, I will look forward to completing my goal of yoga and trying to incorporate a new activity. I hope you too will have luck as you push forward towards your own goals.

Day 55: Rejuvinative Properties

So, I had a very late night on Thursday, to the point where I lost significant amounts of sleep and still had to get up early for work on Friday. I even stopped so low as to drink coffee to help revive my inner drive. And yet by 5 I was exhausted but I had significant plans for that evening. Because I was away from my home Thursday night, I felt compelled to do yoga.

So, I went through the routine ready to slog through it. To my surprise, when I finished it was far better than any coffee cup, it provided me with significant amounts of energy so that I felt completely rejuvenated. So much so that I was completely awake for the rest of the evenings plans.

Lesson learned: hung over, tired, or just feeling bleh, do yoga to recover!

Day 54: Early Start

On days like today, I am forced to get up extremely early and get my Yoga in for fear of missing it, and yet, I am fairly confident that I will be able to work it into my overall routine.

Of late, I have been able to work on my physical fitness more. I have been pushing myself and entering the "yoga zone." The place between fluid movements and breathing and a terrible desire to stop. Power Yoga: Stamina allows me to push but not be afraid that it will never end. The result is that I reach the end of each session feeling satisfied, but also excited that I will keep moving forward.

Regardless, I am confident that I can keep up this pace.

More importantly, how are you doing? Have you been able to maintain a consistent pace in your goals? Have you found you have been struggling? For those of you who've kept going with your goals, have you noticed any discernable gains?

While my weight is relatively consistent, I have found that I've taken an inch or so off my waist. I know this not because I am getting a measuring tape out, but because I see that my clothes are fitting better. I'd like to get rid of all of my fat, but I know that is a chore that will take quite some time


Regardless, I am excited to continue moving forwards!

Day 53: Later is better?

I'm definitely commented on this before, but it seems that the later I do yoga the more energy I am able to exert. By pushing myself in the morning I have to face morning fatigue so my downward facings dogs look more like downward facing poop.

Regardless, I have consistently been pushing the last week or so. I am confident that I will not be missing any more days in the foreseeable future and limit my fitness risk to just one yoga a day. I would like to work in some more Yoga Now, but it just takes so much time.

Especially in this time of nose-to-the-grindstone work, it is important to keep moving forward.

Onwards and upwards!

Day 52: Getting close

Well, I'm definitely making progress towards my overall goal. Soon I will be at my 60 days of yoga. With only 2 or 3 breaks I will have done yoga every single day for a period of 63 days! That is really exciting.

And yet, I worry that I need to continue pushing my physical fitness to I reach a level that is commensurate with my desired body type.

Yoga is a great activity because it is focused, incorporates stretching, and pushes me to work on flexibility. But it does not have a strong cardio component. Additionally, the resistance training it provides is less than ideal for someone of my body type.

I need to keep finding ways to increase my physical fitness in a way that fits in with my overall goals and time constraints. Maybe the 100 Pushup Challenge?

Day 51: The routinization of a chore

Similar to getting better at this, I'm always surprised that something hard has become relatively easy to do. It's a relief to know that by doing yoga everyday, I am able to do more in my regular life.

When I look back to just two months ago when this all started, it is amazing to think that I couldn't do even the most basic things. Bending and stretching were hard. The rolls of fat prevented me from tying my shoes. They were a physical block to doing much of anything at all.

I know I still have a way to go. While my initial goal called for 60 days of yoga, it has become so much a part of my regular routine, and it makes me feel so good, that I think I want to continue doing it through the 60 days. I may continue it indefinitely.

Day 50: 14% of the way and counting

There you have it, 50 days out of the year is 14% down.

Only 86% to go! That's no sweat!

I hope your Sunday was excellent. Although I've had to shift to doing yoga in the evenings, I've found that most of the this is better for me because it allows me to actually be awake while doing it so that I push each pose so that they are actually good instead of my sleep yoga which is very poor indeed.

Anyway, I'm excited that I've been doing yoga for fifty days already. That is 50 days longer than I have done any other activity in my life.

I hope you are having as much success with your goals!

Day 49: Revising the system

As you may have noticed, something screwy happened with how I was numbering days? All of the sudden, the posts with the days were all out of order. I decided that the best way to keep track of the number of days that I have done is to keep a running tally of the number of days that I have been successful so that at the end of the year I can just see, did I make it to day 320? If so, I will have met my goal. Thus, when I miss a day, if I decide to post about it, it will be an unnumbered post.

Yesterday, I did not do yoga. I don't know what it was but I just did not have the energy. I decided against posting about it because I realized this blog had begun to yoyo. One day good, two days bad, one day extremely positive, ech. It was boring. I was bored, you must be bored reading it. Nobody wanted that and ain't no body got time for that. Instead, I decided to just keep you notified of the days that I am successful.

So, despite missing Friday, I am pleased to report that I am ready and reporting for yoga duty today. I left it until the end of the day, but I did it. This is a huge breakthrough for me. Usually when I do something, when I have a day off (like a diet for example), I just end up dropping it all together. But since this is a lifestyle change, I can't afford to do anything like that. And so, I was back at it tonight before heading out.

So for all you still keeping track of your goals, be proud of what you've accomplished and know you are not alone. I know how difficult it is to keep up with it, but don't let your failures define you. Instead, realize that you will have missed days and that is okay. The point is to get back on the proverbial horse and get back to work.

And with that, I shall post again tomorrow! 

Day 48: Chugging along

Yoga on Thursday was the same-old. I got up, did it, and was on my way.

I liked that it was so much a part of my routine that it just felt normal. And yet, fatigued yoga, is no way to do it at all. I started taking shortcuts which were not good for my form, my back, or my motivation in the coming weeks.

And yet, I'm still doing the yoga. If not everyday, then almost every single day! That's something to be proud of. While others have already dropped their new years resolutions, I'm fifteen pounds lighter and moving more than I had in the entire six moths before that!

Day 47: Fluid Dynamics

I know I've said it before but when you finally get back into the swing of yoga, it makes everything better. In this week of refocusing, I am 3/3 for early morning yoga. I wake up a mess, like I always do, push through yoga and my whole day is good. I clear headed all day (without the need for coffee or other stimulants), I feel good, and I am ready for the day.

This whole week, despite having a crushing work schedule, I have been feeling alive and dealing with it because of my early morning yoga. I have been able to focus at work and have not be feeling overwhelmed by any measure.

It is for these reasons that I raise my glass to toast yoga. Cheers!

Day 46: Regression Analysis

Is it possible that I'm getting less flexible the more yoga I do?

I'm back up and at 'em and ready to get up and start my week better. Yesterday was great. I was clear minded, alert, and I was taking care of business.

The only downside is I think my hamstrings are so tight that I've actually been doing worse yoga. I imagine it is from the cardio portions of the yoga now exercise. I think it will take me another week or so of no yoga now to ensure that my legs loosen up again and I get to the point where I am doing very comfortable downward dogs.

With that said, I'm pleased that the second day of my restructured February is going well. I will keep pushing and trying to keep this activity central and foremost in my mind!

Good luck to you on refocusing on your goals if that is something that you have attempted!

Day 45: On track early

Day 1 of getting back on track is in effect.

I woke up and immediately did my base, some power yoga. I'm still tired but not as tired as I was this weekend when I pushed off yoga all day. This is the tired that comes along with waking up early and having my body not be 100% awake. Over the weekend, I was dealing with the long-standing fatigue that resulted in not pushing my body through an appropriate wake-up routine, i.e. forcing my body to do some exercise.

Regardless, I am on track now. I am posting first thing in the morning and getting ready for a great day. I am excited to keep pushing myself for the second half of February so that I can be in top form for March. No longer will I fall back on excuses.

No Excuses will be my mantra. When I find myself saying that I am tired, scared, bothered, sick, etc. I will try to remind myself that nothing tastes as good as thin feels and that March is too important to leave up to poor habits and a big waste line.


With that in mind, Happy Monday! Let's kick this work-week off productively!

Day 44: Week in Review

So, this week hasn't been the best. Despite needing to make February as productive as possible, I've been finding myself lagging in my yoga practice and in my eating.

I'm frustrated in myself, but I know it is a matter of complacency and will power. I've seen some marginal successes and have be demotivated by them. Additionally, general fatigue has set in. What I need to remember is that this is a process. I need to just keep moving forward and not let my failures drag me down.

I also need to recognize all of the gains that I have made. I have done yoga for 44 days. I have increased my stamina and flexibility. I have had more energy and been generally happier. It is important to keep focusing on these things so that I can get back on the track of forward movement. Despite feeling that I've taken a step backwards, I am actually moving along the path towards ultimate bodily control. I am in control of my goals and moving towards being a better overall me.

I hope to increase this trend by falling back on the basics. I've gotten away from my power yoga, which I will be doing daily and then trying to supplement it with other forms of yoga.

As you struggle, think about what you have done well. Have you had some successes? If so, what are they?

Day 43: after a sick day, revealing and thriving!

So I was sick yesterday and did not exercise, but came back with renewed focus and energy.

Also, I've been tracking my gains and I'm sad to report that I've been slowing down. And yet, I'm confident that I can pick up the pace this week!

I'll keep you posted!

Day 42: Winning

Thank you sleep!

I woke up feeling much better and pushed through a power yoga! I ran through it quickly and got back in form ready to start my day!

I feel more powerful, better rested an ready to get into proper form! Ready March, here I come!

Epic Fail

I tried and failed.

I tried to do my yoga but couldn't.

I tried to do it again and failed again.

Yesterday was an epic fail. No less than twice did I attempt my yoga, but fatigue, body pain, and a raging headache made it so that I could not do it.

I don't know what happened but each time I tried, I'd make it 10-12 minutes and have to stop.

And so that was it. My body indicated to me that it was tired and could not go on. I made two good faith attempts to do it and I am satisfied that this was enough.

So instead I passed out to recover and try again later.

Day 41: Scream and Shout

I just wanna scream and shout!

I am rocking it! Two days in a row with Yoga Now. It is an intense workout (for a fat man). It requires that you have the aerobic and stretching all built into one package. Despite how annoying I find Marial Hemingsway, I am proud of my ability to keep pushing forward!


What I really like about it is how much of a workout it is. It really engages me both body and mind so that when I am done I am totally refreshed, the way a workout should feel. I feel completely displaced from regular surroundings and feel energized for the rest of the day.


I can really start getting used to this! I am feel some soreness here and there, but I know another week or two of this and I will be master of Yoga Now!

Day 40: 50 Times The Power

All right. Yoga Now can bite it! I did it. I finished yoga now and I did it well. I didn't cut any corners. I did a full-50 minute workout with intense cardio portions!

While this may not seem like that great of an accomplishment to you. To me this is monumental. When I started this a little over a month ago, I tried to do yoga now and I couldn't get past 20 minutes, with 10 minutes of that being lying on the floor and doing stretches and ab activities. I counted it because at that point my fitness level was so low that it was the best that I could do.

Now, I can do the whole thing. It is a challenge, but I know that with another week or so of doing this every day, I will be able to rock it, just like I was able to do with Power Yoga. This is a real accomplishment because it shows that I am getting stronger, fitter, and hopefully will continue to feel great!


So, I feel like I've gained fifty times the power since I began. I hope you have stuck with your goals and have been feeling more powerful yourself! Having refocused this week, I am hoping to see some drastic gains by March! I need to see drastic gains by March, so let's do it!

Day 39: dialed in

So I'm doing it. But I really think I need a new yoga set because I've gotten too good at power yoga. I'm going to have to switch to flexibility. Even with all the jumps.

Regardless, one thing is clear. I've been holding myself back and letting myself go. This week is about getting refocused and back on track!

Day 38: Late but made it

So, it might have been 11:30 at night when I finally decided to start my yoga for the day, but I got it in under the wire. I didn't blog about it last night because I was too exhausted and actually fell asleep right on the floor.

The good news is I made it and did not end up burning a day on it!

Cheers.

Day 37: Phew.

Pain avoided.

Maybe the lesson is: just push through the pain. I did another yoga session this morning and did not feel the same pain. I'm still worries that I'm not stretching properly and should figure that out.

It might have also been that I switched to a different yoga. I've subsequently fallen back on power yoga: flexibility, but I'm excited to keep mixing it up!

More superman flying jumps are in my future!

How are your goals coming. Are you experiencing the same challenges or are you blowing by as a goal champion?

Day 36: painful panting

I don't know how to do yoga properly.

This is the undeniable conclusion that I have had to come to. I keep hitting myself. This time, it was a little better because I did not completely pull something, but still not pleasant. It makes me think that I should probably take a yoga class. One where they can yell at my flabby ass for being completely not with it.

Oh well. There's always tomorrow!

Day 35: Undserved Cockiness

All right. I'll admit it. I was getting cocky.


I started getting cocky in my ability to do yoga. I was like, "I can do any yoga, any time, anywhere." I was a yoga champ.

And then I finally got around to doing a different variety of yoga. I did Rodney Yee's Power Yoga–Flexibility. First of all, it was a nightmare. That man is crazy.

I stretched in ways that my body wouldn't allow and that I did not know could do. And let me just say it: I failed. I failed miserably.

For example, Rodney Yee kept asking me to jump into Push-Up Position from Forward Bend. What I was doing was very carefully throwing my weight to my legs in an attempt to somewhat jump back and somehow "land" in push-up position. Here's what Rodney Does:

It's some sort of magic where based on his hands only he SLOWLY projects his feet into the air and then as if he's floating lowers the legs to the ground and ends up in the last last picture. How is a normal human supposed to do that???

I mean really. Anyway, flexibility kicked my butt. I will say that I was actually able to do this:

The Pigeon Pose! Then I had to lay out completely in front. It looks like it would be hard, but it was actually really relaxing. Anyway. I got my butt kicked and thought I should let you know how brutal it was. Let's just say, I might try that some more, but wow! If I can learn to fly like Rodney Yee, I might have a shot at dropping some serious poundage.

Regardless, I now know that I have a lot of room to grow and it wasn't the best idea to keep myself stuck in one repeating routine, it would have been smarter to keep pushing forward and growing with the new poses.

So challenge yourself to try something new. How are your new goals treating you? Have you been able to set a new goal to reinvest in your longer term goals?

For me, I finally caught up on sleep and feel like a completely different person. I feel awake and ready to go.  Because of that, I have been much better today in meeting all of my goals!

Good luck with yours.

Day 34: Unnecessary Roughness

So, I didn't make it.

I got home last night and just did not get to finish my yoga. Even so, I feel like half a yoga is better than no yoga at all. And yet, I feel like I'm letting my goal down. It's still only been 2 days of not working out total, but it still feels like a failure. Even so, I'm still very much on track to meet my goal at the end of the year.

Today I also was dragging. I was just not feeling it. I'm still suffering from a sleep deficit. And it's not cool. It's stopping me from eating contained portions, getting focused in my work, and getting my exercise done. I've been lethargic and tired all day. My brain was just not firing on all four cylinders.

Regardless, when I finally did my yoga in the evening, I was ready to take on the day. I felt energy flowing back into me and I felt more awake than I had been in days. So, my pitch. Stop being lazy and keep spinning those exercise wheels!

And that's the skinny. Here's to you being skinnier!

Day 33: Fat-igued

Fatigued.

Fat + igued (as in to be glued to the couch). At least for me, there is a direct correlation between how much exercise, food, and others things I do and the amount of sleep I get. The more sleep I get the better I am able to tackle things like yoga and the amount of food I consume. I find it interesting though, that on days when I don't get sleep (like today) I feel five times hungrier and I can't handle the everyday stresses as well either. In fact, I didn't make it through my morning yoga, I failed miserably in fact, because I was too tired. (Don't worry, I plan to finish it when I get home tonight!)

Think about that! Do your sleeping patterns affect you movement goals or your food intake? For me, the more tired I am, the fatter I feel (and consequently become).

Here to getting more sleep!

Day 32: The Weekend Drawl

It's the weekend time, Sunday, a day for rest. Not a day for doing work, of any kind. And yet, I keep pushing myself to do the work. To move, and to thereby be better because of it.

Yet, what happens, is that I wake up, sit around and refuse to do work for any number of hours.

It's depressing and yet. True.

Oh well.

Day 31: Phoenix Lift

I started today out on the right track.

I woke up, did Yoga right away and then got some errands out of the way. I have still yet to determine what will happen if I manage to track every day this month and do more yoga, but I am excited about finding something that is both intriguing, affordable, and, most importantly, motivating.

I finally managed to hack off that mane that had attached to my head and I am now "streamlined" for success. I have a bunch more work to finish before tonight, but I am looking forward to incorporating some NEW Yoga.


Happy Groundhog's Day. The end is in sight (of winter) and so should your next goal. Figure out what will motivate you to keep going. For me, it has been this calorie tracking. It's something I've done in the past, but ever since I moved to a more fixed diet, I have not felt it is necessary. But, at the same time, I do not know how many calories I'm ingesting, so it will be nice to figure it out. That way, I can start to see some patterns and make adjustments that will hopefully have the effect of helping me end February strong.

Like the Groundhog, I am excited to see that I will no longer be casting such a large shadow. But until then, keep moving forward.

Day 30: Tried and True

The method is tried and true. Get up, workout and feel great. While I may not love it at the time. Being able to reflect on it, I feel that I am able to grow from it. I am getting stronger, more flexible, and one day I wil be able to be confident in my own body type. Until that day, I say keep on swimming.

Day 28: Eating Craves Exercise

I feel like there is an uncanny connection between the amount of food my body desires and the the nt of exercise I do. For whatever reason, whenever I exercise vigorously, my appetite is sated. But whenever I can't exercise for whatever reason, I find that I crave food that much more. It's actually ridiculous.

Regardless, I am excited to keep going. And that just means that my resolution of moving every single days means that I need to keep moving in order to keep my appetite satisfied.

Day 27: nailing it

Back in a rhythm! Now just 212 days more! You keep it up too!!

Missed Day 1 (and 2)

And so here I am, dejected at my first missed day. You will notice, however, that I chose not to miss even a single day until I was sure that a habit was created! Unfortunately, missing a day, just made today's yoga even harder. It was like downward dog was a cobra striking at my exposed underbelly! Dang.

Anyway, I missed yesterday because I was forced to be out of the house and away from internet and life for the full day and when I got home that night, I was far too exhausted from the day's activities to attempt to do anything but sleep. You know what exhaustion where your head is pounding and you can't move an inch. So, I just went to sleep instead.

But I'm up and back at it again. Today was a little harder as I mentioned but I still have 27 days completed.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards!

Enjoy the day!

Day 26: Habit Day

I failed.

I'm embarrassed to say it, but it's true. I had to get up for work this morning and I did my yoga, but after the typical Friday night reverie, my body just wasn't having it. I only made it halfway through my 20 minute routine (10 minutes).

But just because I failed this morning does not mean I am giving up. I will try again later tonight when I get home from work. I will hope that, by then, I am awake.

My theory? My body just needs more rest. Not necessarily rest from the yoga activity, but rest in general. Trying to do yoga when still half asleep made it more difficult than necessary.


Oh, well. I will succeed on habit day!

Day 25: Chemical Changes

I know I've said that yoga has been getting easier. But I must also say that I think I understand how a habit works.

Now, I have no scientific background or any training in science, but I'm starting to think that my body is undergoing some kind of chemical change in response to the habit. My body is responding to the use of yoga and rewarding me. Every time I complete the exercise, I get a sense of relief, almost like my body is beginning to crave the activity. It's why I'm starting to think that a habit is really just a chemical response to habituation. I've effectively managed to rewire my brain into thinking that I will be happier if I complete my yoga.

Regardless, I'm pleased that I'm just one day away from a habit forming.

For all of you experiencing the same phenomenon, congratulations! Keep working on your goals. Just 11 more months to go!

Day 24: sup?

In the terrible movie Tower Heist, Chris Murphy is watching a bigger woman crack a safe. She looks up at him and he says, "Sup?" As in, "Sup girl? How you doin'?" That's how I feel.

Sup yoga, how you doin'? You ready to submit to my superior dominance of you! You ready to reward all my time practicing Downward Dog and Powerful Pose. Well show you Powerful Pose. In other words, he'll yeah, I'm crushing this. I'm almost to the point where yoga is supposed to be ingrained as a habit and I feel it. I'm ready to continue to do this always. I'm ready to keep this as a lifelong habit and get fit and strong.

And yet, I wonder if I should be pushing myself to try something new. If I should branch out to some other power yoga routines or consider changing my goal to do more physical activity. Regardless, I believe I should start every day with yoga and then work more physical activity into my routine!


A friend noted why I lIke Power Yoga: Stamina, so much more than Yoga Now. Essentially, power yoga is yoga now (with Mariel Hemingsway) but without the cardio and the annoying voices. I mean, I don't know how I didn't catch it–it's literally the same thing!

What's even funnier is that my friend really want to write a story about how Mariel and Rodney Yee got together to engage in this yoga class. I look forward to reading it and will, of course, keep you updated!

Overall, then, my goal to complete 60 days of yoga is well underway. I am at day 23 of yoga and day 24 of activity in some form.

You too should keep going with your goals. Note the majesty of completing them and the power
You feel doing them. And in the spirit of Rodney Yee, feel the power of your breath fill you up and ground you into the earth, into your mind, and into your soul!

Keep up the good work!

Day 23: 3 Days and Counting

So, with only three days left, I'm finding that it's getting easier. Easier to do my yoga and easier to be present during the day.


More than anything I am happy that I have been able to stick it out for almost a month now. I am excited because I am confident that in another 3 weeks or so I will feel even better an begin to start seeing results!

Keep up your good work as well because in just 3 days, we will be at a habit and then the hard part will be over!